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Pre-released Version

Scott

I jolt awake.

My breaths are quick and my shirt is drenched. Darkness has eaten the little light in my room that’s usually provided by a street lamp just outside my bedroom window. On a normal night, it beams through the slits of my blinds and gives me a sense of comfort that reminds me it’s not all darkness. That I’m not all darkness.

I used to think I was, until today.

She cast through my life with a hue of radiance and gave something like me a little hope. She may mitigate my fear from this darkness that’s stalked me my entire life.

It’s impossible though because to get close to her is far worse than the darkness.

I slide from the bed. Sweat has my shirt and shorts clung to my skin. Damn dreams. Damn Nightmares. . .

Since I’ve mated with Glen Richards—a girl from my high school—my nights have been dreadful. Three days now, of shameless oppression I’m forcing myself to endure. It would be simple to surrender to the rigid urge, to approach the girl whom I’ve known since elementary school and offer her my love, and possibly be this amazing person she hasn’t realized she wants yet. But I can’t. I can’t make her suffer through my pain, I can’t torture her to live my burden, I won’t force her to accept me. She’s been enough, and I don’t want to add to her tragedies.

My toes ache as they press onto the carpeted floor and I cross my room. My skin and muscles have never been so sensitive. I’m rejecting the mating, and it’s fighting back. The mating requires me to go to Glen, to embrace us with my touch and seal us by my kiss and then request she accept me as hers. I can’t do it. And dammit it hurts and is draining, like the flu. I’m nauseous all the time, my head always hurts, my body often aches, and these cold sweats are the worst.

I tug my shirt over my head and throw it to the floor. It slops on its landing and triggers the thought of a shower that I talk myself out of.

The dresser drawer sticks as I yank it open. My shaky fingers mesh with cotton fabrics; tee shirts and sweatpants. I draw out one of each and toss them on the bed.

When my protective layer came in, it wasn’t nearly this painful. The constant stretching of my flesh and cracking of my bones was a breeze. The connecting of my Burdened and I is the closest to this pain, figures it would be as my mind and body are conforming to Glen’s expectations. But unlike mating, binding with the Burdened is a physical battle between the beast and me, seeing which part of me is the strongest. It’s a challenge learning how to control the beast, one that can take decades. Now, I’m adding mating, and my beast is experiencing a change as it decides if it will mate with her too.

I’m telling my body ‘no,’ it can’t have what it desperately needs, like food or water, and it’s insisting.

If I need something or someone this bad, to a point where it affects if I live or die. . .it can’t be good for me.

I plod to the edge of my bed and flop down beside it on the floor. Pulling my journal from beneath my mattress, I take to it; scratching words that express my insanities across its lines.

Hey Scooter! Carmen, my cousin, voice shouts in my mind. She’s always a ball of joy. It’s a refresher after awakening from a nightmare that nearly killed me.

Carmen, what’s up?

You wanna go out tonight?

I suppose you’re the reason the street light is out. The reason for the worsening of these damn nightmares. I need the light. Just a little bit to save me from this sorrowful darkness that’s getting darker the longer I push on like this. I get that Glen can save me from this, but if she were to find out what I am, who I am, I’ll never be accepted in her eyes. Her past made sure of that.

You know it! Come on. Nathan’s out here with me. Let’s disturb the peace.

Okay. Let me shower. I’ll be right out.

Scott

It’s not fair that we don’t have a choice in the directions our lives go. I wasn’t asked if I wanted to mate or if the change was okay with me. It attacked me and took over, stealing me away and replaced me with her. Everything I thought I knew burned away, nothing matters anymore. It’s only her.

Sephlems are creatures of the earth, monogamous mammals like eagles, joined with another by fate. I wish. . . God do I wish I were human. I’d give my life to be human. But wishing is for the hopeful. My wants are unobtainable. I’m so far from being human, I’m worse than only a Sephlem. I’m Burdened. A veil, sheltering the blood of a demon. Blackened blood flows through my veins, providing me with a tainted mind and an unpredictable life. The worse feeling in the world is to not know who you are or what you’re capable of. To not understand who you are.

I used to be able to control it. To keep the uncertain, the unpredictable, and the incapability at bay, I could hold back the urge to slaughter the world and take hold of my own life. Mating’s changed this.

Carmen nudges my arm. “Scooter, everything okay? You seem a bit out of it.”

So far, they’ve moved three cars from driveways to the rooftops of houses. They’ve burned their initials into six lawns and sounded off two alarms. I’d enjoy it the shenanigans, but it’s too hard to focus. I’m connected to every facet and feature of Glen’s mind and body. Everything she does, I feel it happening to me.

Currently Glen’s quivering, sheltering her quaking body with wads of blankets. She’s freezing, needing the warmth from the accepting of us mating. She doesn’t live that far from this side of town, where it isn’t unfamiliar to see people strolling down streets, talking loudly, and knocking out street lights, or for car alarms to go off randomly.

Her deep breath shakes my shoulders, one that’s accommodating another angry chill that shivered her flesh.

“Yeah, Carmen,” I sigh, dragging my hands from the pockets of my hoody to push them through my hair. Pulling the elastic from my wrist I pull it out of my face.

“Scott mated a couple of days ago,” Nathan reveals. “He’s coping with it. But his mind doesn’t agree with the mating.”

“Nathan. What if I didn’t want to share that?” Nathan and his big mouth. Sometimes he’s a little too comfortable sharing other people’s information. Considering the mounds of secrets he keeps, he should be willing to hold water better than this.

“Eh, Scott, get over it. If you stop fighting yourself like you’ve been doing all your life, it wouldn’t be this complicated. And plus,” Nathan pauses to toss a stone at a street lamp, darkening the block we wander. “The more you fight it, the worse it gets. You’re born to mate. So deal.”

“Nathan, shut up!” Him and his, you’re born to mate is not at all true. “Some Burdened Sephlem may be born to mate. But not us.”

“I think all Sephlems were meant to mate and bond or else it wouldn’t be a thing. Ya know?” Carmen, the elusive one.

“Carmen, she’s human.”

“Crap. . .” she mutters. “Burdened Sephlems mating with a human isn’t only rare, because it, like, never happens. What about the curse?”

“Prophecy,” Nathen corrects.

A sense a fear falls over Carmen, knowing this means being hunted down by Nemenites and fighting to the death of us or them. “You think you’re the Seeing of Death, Scott?” Her eyes go wide and she gasps. It was close to being convincing until she started laughing. “No way you mated with a human, Scott. It’s nearly impossible.” She dismissively waves behind her as she continues down the street, doing a round of somersaults and backflips.

I shake my head and joggle my shoulders to shake off another chill that shakes Glen. I want her off of me; her skin, her breaths, her wants, her thoughts. . . “I don’t want this,” I mutter under my breath. Carmen and Nathan will never understand what I’m going through.

“Honestly, Scott, it doesn’t sound much different from what they told us it would be like. You’re being taken over by your lady in order for you to learn her, understand her, and protect her. It’s just new, and like everything else, you need to get used it and man up.”

“Do you ever stop being a dick?”

Nathan throws his arms out at his sides. “I’m just trying to help.”

I breathe, thinking of the level of Glen’s pain as tension squeezes my back. She hurts. She hurts every second of the day. Headaches awaken her throughout the night and muscle spasms cramp her limbs throughout the day. She is pained, something I wish I could control. I want to stop it and help her. But if I do. . . I’ll just be making it worse.

“Fuck you, Nathan.” I’m uncontrollable. I’m untamed. I feel it thrashing inside me, waiting for me to break the barrier between my beast and I that I’ve spent my life building. I’m afraid I’m going to hurt her, and I don’t want that. Glen won’t know what to think, she’ll feel duped and adamant that I was born to destroy her. That’s what I’m learning from her.

“You know if you’re unsure, we’re all here to help. You can’t keep away from her for too much longer. You’ll wind up killing yourself. You know what they say. . .”

I cut in before he can continue, “Don’t say it, Nathan.”

“If you resist it too long, it will definitely become unmanageable. You’ll take a pearl blade to your neck.”

Annoyed with his constant I’m going to kill myself statements, I throw a jab in his back.

Nathan whips around, anger manipulating the shade of his eyes. Not a second passes before he laughs it off. “Control yourself, Scott. Don’t touch me,” he warns.

I shove him from my path. “Fuck you, Nathan.”

“Scott, The Golden Boy!” he proclaims, a nag I’ve long grown tired of. “As much as you teased me all those years. Do you think I’m not going to wear this out?” Nathan cackles. “Look at what you did to those Mulens the other day. I mean, at least they weren’t innocent humans, but look what you did. One blow, Scott, you literally knocked his head off his neck. The other, you shredded with little effort.”

I shake my head, releasing myself from the thought. “Nathan, I don’t need the reminder. I want to forget it.”

“The past is unforgettable, Scott. Just as you need to accept the present and your future. You need to accept your past. You then slaughtered!” he recommences heartily, “Literally, ripped three Mulens apart, every one of them two times your size. You don’t see anything wrong? Seriously, fighting this is changing you. And it’s not going to get better. You’re talking about never accepting her. I guarantee you, if you keep at this, despite that niggling pain you’re going through, you’re going to end up killing yourself, maybe through killing her.”

Scooping up a rock, I toss it at a street lamp. It hits the head of the lamp and the entire light post falls over. “Dammit,” I mutter.

Nathan’s haughty laugh boils my blood. His mocking of my disorder has me regretting teasing him when he used to lash out. “Oh wow,” he banters. “This is exactly what I’m talking about.”

Carmen laughs, joining him. “Yeah. You need to do something about that, Scott. Baby steps, try that.”

“Whatever. Let’s leave from here before people start peeping from their blinds, and we have to turn invisible.” The three of us hurry from the neighborhood, off to do more destruction.

They suggest I release the pain.

Scott

Her skin is paler today, and her heart thrums quick and eagerly.

It’s a contradiction, really. I’m staying away from her because I don’t want to hurt her, but here I am . . . hurting her. My dad says that if I don’t give in to the mating, my heart will begin deteriorating, and hers will be unsatisfied. It doesn’t matter who she ends up within her future, he will never be enough. She’ll forever crave for me.

What should I do . . .?

I’m nowhere near ready for this. I hate the concept of mating, the ability to control another being, the requirement to be solely dedicated to one person for my entire life though I’m still in my prime. And to a human of all persons. A soft, delicate, sensitive human who doesn’t even know we exist. Who believes life is as she sees it.

“Scott,” comes muffled from an unfamiliar voice.

I spare a glance over my shoulder, curious to who holds this irregular sound. I’ve gone to school with most of my class for the past twelve years, long enough for me to know everyone’s voice. And last time I checked no new students started recently. The mating changing more than just my heart. . .

Extremely long eyelashes blink over sparkling blue eyes. “Hey. What’s up, Pepper.” My own voice is unfamiliar to me, it’s deeper. I clear the phlegm causing it to sound hoarse. “What do you want?” It’s still there.

Pepper tucks her ginger, bone-straight hair behind her ear, as she looks me over, coming up with an excuse for her bother. Not a week ago, Pepper was smoking hot. Even in sweats and sneakers, which she rarely wears in place of heels and short skirts, when she’d drop by my house at eleven o’clock at night. We used to share a little bit of each other’s time, just a couple of hours on some nights that we kept between the two of us. Today, though—recently—she’s the most unattractive human yet. For the last week, actually, more women I’ve found attractive aren’t any longer.

“You’ll let me borrow your pen?”

My eyes flick across her desk, taking notice of the red and blue pen set upon it. “Don’t you have enough pens?” I grumble.

Her piercing blue eyes sweep over my desk. “But you have a black one. That’s the color I need.”

Glen’s hand rise, there’s a sense in my arm feeling the movement in my limb. A question sits upon her tongue. She’s gone in seconds, and I’m out of my seat, following after her.

Stop, Scott! Go sit back down, I tell myself, but I continue against my inner will. The teacher’s call evades me as I’m exiting the classroom. The door shuts behind me with a soft click.

God, and she’s potent. The pheromones seeping from her pores call me to her in a way that’s irresistible. It forces me to trail her steps.

I do so quietly and go unseen by her.

Glen’s scent leads left. Her skin is cold, forcing little bumps to scatter her bare flesh. She’s around the next corner, but I don’t round it. I lean my shoulder against the wall, and wait, indulging in her relief. Another chill rushes over her when she pulls her hands from under the warm water and continues as she snatches a paper towel from the holder. She’s gotten used to it, it no longer bothers her. The roughened edges of the wadding paper towel scrape her palms, but she ignores that too, though I scratch mine.

I’m watching through her eyes, her shooting the balled-up paper into the trash bin.

She’s good, I admire. It goes right in.

I take notice of the spread of my lips. A smile.

Crap. . .

Infatuation.

I turn away, heading back down the hall. Don’t do it, Scott. Stay away. My hastened steps rush me down the hall. The end of the hall nears, and as I hope I’m going unnoticed, she calls, “Scott?”

My steps double, and I fumble a bit.

It’s not until this very moment that I finally understand Romeo Montague’s thought. To be in a messed up situation but to want to hear the sweet song of his name sang from the lips of his Juliet. A name, my name has never sounded so worthy, so clear, so perfect. And do I want Glen to speak again because her voice is like the hush following a snowstorm.

Peace.

Her heart, in my chest, all but ruptures as it subjects my body to a torrent of heat that feels like boiling blood to my insides. It thrashes, taking precedence over my brain as it becomes my nervous system. It controls my limbs, my thoughts, my entire body.

The heart, it’s violently pounding, causes red edges to form in my periphery, forcing my sight to see only one thing clearly. This girl, my mate who I’ve not yet fulfilled the desire to touch. Who I’ve only dreamed of, and harmful dreams at that. Five days have passed since I’ve mated with Glen. And just as she stares at me, her hazel eyes swim with desperation. She feels it, the sealing our mating requires.

My body strides back down the hall, directly to her. Upon my approach, not short of a second before the love of my life, I slip my hand behind her neck and yank her forward. Her lips are smooth silk. Her scent is soft as the oceans breeze―fresh and free. Her taste . . . a violent satisfaction succumbing by every need to mate, to bond, at this very instant.

Our bodies burn, set afire by the completing of our mating.

Mating. . .

I yank away. “I’m sorry, Glen.” I want to shake my head, to further my no. My body, this veil, forces me to do the opposite—to fall into another kiss.

I’m weak to the utmost desire of what we assume to be fate, but I call hell.

We back out of the hall, stumbling into the empty photo lab.

Glen’s silent. As am I.

She’s beautiful, her bare body’s soft and delicate. And as I lay her down on the couch and hover over her, I let words slip from me I wish I hadn’t. I release feelings, I shouldn’t. I tell secrets that shouldn’t be released.

“Glen,” I say near her ear before kissing her neck. I go unanswered as she grabs me and tucks me inside her. It’s—she’s—so warm, and it weakens me to be this raw inside of her. “You’ll hold my heart and let me love you?”

“Yes,” she complies.

I’m regretting every thrust, every kiss, every moan and croon, every shiver that scatters over our bodies, and yet, I don’t stop. I’m drowning, but I’m loving it too much to come up for air.

Scott

“You’re done ignoring me, right?”

I slide from under Glen and tug on my jeans. The bell will ring soon and this room fourth period’s photo lab class will come barging in here in a rush to find they negatives ruined.

“Glen. . .” I sigh.

A heat of refusal sinks down on her. She knows my words before I say them.

“Scott.” A name shutters my skin. “Don’t keep doing this.” She’s pulling her shirt over her head when I face her. “I’ve noticed you staring at me. I mean, we’ve known each other forever and suddenly, you’re all awkward around me; turning the other direction when you see me, ignoring me in groups, changing your seat in classes we share.” She shrugs her shoulder. “After this”—she points to the couch—“I know you don’t hate me. So, are we going to keep on with this look and look away game, or are we going to see this through?” Glen slips her arms around my waist and lays a kiss on my neck. “I want us to see this through.”

I say, “Okay, Glen.” But I don’t mean it. As long as I can fight this, this oncoming bond, I’ll be able to keep her safe from me. I can protect her.

#

“You’re a fucking idiot. Stop talking to me.”

I grab Nathan’s arm, yanking him back into my room. “Dude, stop seeing her.”

“What do you mean stop?” he yells. “I eat, breathe, and dream Tracey. Just because you’re an idiot who clearly sees the signs but chooses to ignore them, it doesn’t mean I’m traveling down that shit tarnished rabbit hole with you.” He rips his arms from my hand and heads for the door. “Get you’re damn shoes on and let’s go.”

“I don’t want to go to this party.”

“Well, you’re going. And make sure you take out some time to help your mate. No matter what you try to deny, she’s your mate and that’s not going to change. You can’t let her hurt like this. You cannot torture her. She doesn’t deserve it.”

“When did you change? I thought we were in agreement with this. Tracey’s just as human as Glen, remember. Andwhat about your father! What if he tried to kill her. I thought you were going against it too.”

Nathan leans against the door, folding his arms in front of his chest. His overwhelmed expression takes me aback. “We weren’t for this mating thing, you’re right. We’re Burdened, we’re fucking flooded by demon’s blood. My beast quirks to life every time I think about her. I figured no sane woman would want to deal with a man-demon anything. But Tracey. . .” A smile flitters across his face, one he tries to hide with the bow of his head. “She’s different. She’s going to accept me regardless of how I come, or what’s under this façade. She’ll love me for me, and I’m willing to adapt for her.” Looking over his arms, he adds, “I can feel myself already changing to accommodate her, and I haven’t even hugged or kissed her yet. She knows shit about me and is already battling I love you,” he magnifies, voice thick and uplifted. “I’ve never felt that, like I was desired in a way of fulfillment, to want to love and be loved in return. I want that. Her.”

Feeling uneasy, I brush my fingers through my hair. It’s long, falling back around my ears. Glen’s withdrawing and sweat is constantly beading my forehead. I’ve avoided her since our incident in the photo lap. I’m over this. But I can’t give in to it. “Glen isn’t like that. If I tell her I’m Burdened, if she finds out what that means . . . she’ll flip out. Glen’s analytical; she sees things as they are. She can’t see beyond what you show her. I mean, I know why. What I’ve picked up about her dad, and then her blown-out mother. She can’t just accept some things.”

“Scott, listen to me. You are her mate. If you’re honest and yourself, she will accept you.”

“Nathan,” I utter, fearful to admit, “I’ve dreamt it. It doesn’t end well for us. I’ve seen it.” He stumbles back against the wall, his face a replica of a man shocked silent. I confirm his unasked questions. “Every night, same dream. It’s the same outcome. The same death. Every night, Nate. I kill my mate and watch me . . . watch us die.”

A garble of stutters gets caught in his teeth. “When’d you start dreaming?” Shock in Nathan’s voice is like a whisper from a demon. It should never be heard or spoken. Seeing Nathan shocked at all, should be unfathomable. He’s the lead of family, someone who’s never taken off guard or ever unaware of things going on, to prevent moments of shock. But whenever I start dreaming, we all get a little scared.

“The day I mated, the day I touched her, the day her heart replaced mine. The day my life changed. It’s bad, Nate.” I plop down on my bed, throwing my hands in my face. “It’s so damn bad.”

“What’d you see?” The shock thickens the deepness of his voice. The look on his face scares me. His gray eyes reflect his fear and worsen my own.

“I kill her.”

“Scott. You have to give me more! Tell me what you saw! Tell me what you did!” he shouts, rage turning his gray eyes midnight.

I shake my head as my nerves take over. Words elude me, remembering that torture, recalling that promise.

“Scott. . .” Nathan breathes, and calm wipes over him as he regains control. “Tell me. Maybe I can help. Maybe we all can.”

“Help?” I shout. “Help how?” I jump from my bed. “There is no way to help! When we go, we go. If I kill her, I kill her. And you know there is no way of saving either of us! There has never been an escape from these dreams. These fucking nightmares are my future. Always have been.”

“Scott, don’t let your ability control you. You have to control it. Nothing can delegate your life. That’s your promise. Use your own teaching, Scott. Don’t let this get the best of you.”

“The future is the future,” I convince. There’s no way of changing a dream. That is what fate is. And it’s a bitch! How can fate bring me my life partner and so easily threaten to take her away . . . ?

His right hand rises and scrapes over his beard. “Let me say it like this. . .” I wait, wait for him to find a Nathanway to convince me into giving into this mating because now since he’s mated with Glen’s best friend Tracey, he’s for this love conquers all kick and if we’re brought the opportunity we shouldn’t let it pass us by. He thinks there is a way he can evade his promise bestowed on him before he was born. That I can evade these kill me softly nightmares that clearly draws out my mate’s and my future. But, we can’t. Fate always wins.

A slight pang in my head makes my eye twitch. It’s Nathan sifting through my thoughts, hacking his way into my mind. He’s been doing it since he learned how, back when I was six years old. He’s practiced on me for so many years, it no longer hurts. To my forethought, he brings a piece of a dream, less than a second. I’ve never realized how long a second can be. But staring into Glen’s hazel eyes, her freckled face holds a smile that I’ve somehow managed to place upon her mouth. We stand in what looks like Tracey’s kitchen, and though I hear nothing, I see the warm words slip from Glen’s lips I love you.

“See.” Nathan releases me, removing himself from my mind. “She’ll love you, one day. It may not be easy. It may be a fight. But you have my word that I’ll stand by your side. I’ll help you. Either way, Scott. Without her, it leads to death, a worse death for you than what you feel now, than probably what you’ve dreamed of. And think of her after you’re gone. It will kill her slowly, and throughout her entire life, she’ll never know what’s missing, she’ll never know what was wrong, and she’ll never understand herself. Glen will be lost, forever, only because you want to be stubborn and let these dreams control you.”

I rub my hand over my chin. Clenching my jaw, I grit down on my teeth so hard we hear them grind. “There’s something else.” A charging sword stabs through my chest, knowing I’ll hurt us both telling him this. But he has to know this road he’s willing to walk down isn’t glitter and sparkling arches. For either of us.

Colors. An over baring rainbow of colors flash in his eyes as his once encouraging expression falls sullen. The torment, what he knows, what he’s seen, is present in his sorrowed mien. “Don’t tell me. I’ve seen it.”

“Then you see. . . It doesn’t end well for you either. If you try to stop me, I could kill you too.” My words jumble as I try to spit them out. “And even if that specific dream doesn’t play out, there are hundreds of different outcomes. There’s no changing this. The only way for us to change this, help this, stop this . . . is to not go through with it. We have to stay away.”

A slow nod tilts his head. Through narrowed eyes, he stares at me. “I think we can do it. I’m always down for a fight with fate. But I won’t fight you on this, Scott. You do what you have to do, but I can’t. I need her. I hear you, and maybe you’re right. But I can’t stay away.”

“Fine. But I am. I have to.”

Scott

I hold my silence. If I speak too much, I’ll talk myself into leaving, but she needs a few more minutes, a second more of my touch. Or maybe I’m greedy, sucking up the time I’ve deprived myself of as I, instead, choose to live a mate-less life.

However, I can’t help but think. . . What if I’m wrong? 

“I’ll stay until you want me to leave.” My words are no louder than the soft breeze, brushing against her window. Her nervous heartbeat is louder than me.

Glen’s nose nuzzles my neck. “That’s all I’m asking. Stay until I ask you to leave.”

“Will you want me to?”

“Never.”

“Be sure, Snowflake.”

She sits up, pressing her hand against my chest for stability. “Snowflake?” she mused.

My thumb brushes her cheekbone. “Think nothing of it.”

A glance past my nose, her sight falls upon my lips. Never thinking less than intimacy, her want is for my kiss.

She fantasizes, momentarily, about me raising my hand to her neck, pulling her down against me, and sweeping my tongue in her mouth.

And I do, her scent’s too inviting to hold back. Once you give in, it’s hard to pull back. Their bodies become temples, their eyes become hypnotic, their smell becomes an enchantment and their skin. . . God forbid you touch them while you’re that high. And I’m high as a soaring hawk.

My fingers only graze her bare arms and she radiates. A flush of heat blushes her freckled skin. Pleasure. Pure pleasure steals her begging expression.

And I fall so low, by the time I realize how deep I’ve buried myself, she’s latched on to me, body nude, pressed against mine. I’m too far inside her to come out, too deep in her mind to pull out, and far too drunk from her lust to sober up.

My eyes flutter as I try to remember where I am.

“You let me sleep with you, again If you’re not careful, it will become a habit.” Glen holds back her grin. She’s right to hide it. “I don’t know if I should be happy about that or nervous.”

I jump to my feet, scrambling with the covers clung around me. “No. no. no!” I shout, making my way through the dark room, in search of a light. Checking my watch, my anger boils as I realize it’s four in the mourning. We’ve been asleep for hours! “No,” I carry, on the verge of either crying and tearing this fucking room apart.

“Scott, what’s wrong?”

“Shut up!” I shout, shoving a hostel point toward her. “This shouldn’t have happened! We shouldn’t be here!”

“What do you mean? Everything was perfect finally!”

“Nothing containing you in perfect! Why can’t you understand that?!”

“What a minute!” Glen jumps from the bed and charges over to me. “I’m not the one who followed me into this room. I’m not the one who kissed me in the hallway. I’m not one who asked me to love you! You did! So don’t dish that shit at me, Scott! If you’re feeling guilty because of your action for whatever messed up reason you hate me, be angry with yourself!”

The room’s door opens and Andrew walks in. It all comes back to me, how I got in here, the party. Glen. She had was wasted, and my body followed her steps up the stairs and to this bedroom. Her heart was pounding, our bodies were on fire. Without my approve, the seizing of our bonding was in full effect. It’d taken over my body, forcing me to take her hands in mine; in our clutch, the prickling sensation started in our palms, connecting our senses. The sensation then travels straight to our hearts, skipping all the other parts of our body I’ve been told it would flow in order to bind our bodies. I had kissed her mouth and accepted it. Why would I accept it? 

Glen didn’t back down. The night wasn’t a night for sex, but for tethering, where she would take the center of my life, no matter what I wanted. She holds my heart forever and nothing but death will change that.

Calming, I say, “Sorry, Andrew. Didn’t mean to wake you. I’m drunk.” I lie.

Tired-eyed and settled by my explanation, he closes the door. Andrew and I have been friends since grade school. He believes I never lie, as I’ve never given him a reason to believe otherwise, so him turning away from me so easily is expected, although I expected him to combat me on it.

“So,” Glen sings from the other side of the room. “You’re cool?”

Shaking my head, I grumble, “We need to go. I have to talk to my cousin.”

Nathan, I connect with him, using our internal monologue. I need your help.

Uh. . . Yeah? Right now?

Definitely. I woke up next Glen. I don’t even know how I got here. We’re still together, and I’m losing my shit.

Bro, I’m preoccupied at the moment. Let’s chat when the sun comes up.

Just like you to be hoes before bros. Dammit, she better be worth it! I lift my gaze from the floor to Glen, as nicely as I can manage, I say, “I’m sorry. I need to get home. I can walk you to Tracey’s house.”

Glen grumps and stomps across the floor. “Go fuck yourself, Scott!” Out of the door and down the stairs she angrily cusses, calling my every name up under the sun. Her hate for me hurts more than the bonding, and I chase after her.

Catching her before she grabs the front door’s knob, I grab her hands and drop to my knees. “I am sorry. You’re perfect. It’s me that’s the error. Okay?” I kiss her knuckles and wait for her response.

Her heavy sigh is relaxing. “I’m not some Raggedy Ann Doll you can just pick up and throw away whenever you feel like it. I have feelings and that hurts.”

“I know.”

“Stand up,” she says, pulling me upward. “Don’t treat me that way. Okay?”

“Yes.” On my feet, I hug her and kiss her cheek. “I do need to get home, it’s really late.”

#

The walk to Tracey’s house is short. Everything is as expected until Nathan shows up in the window that Tracey’s leaning out of.

You son of a bitch! 

Scott, don’t start that angry girlfriend shit. I told you I was preoccupied, you assumed it was worthless. 

But your mate wasn’t worth you correcting me?

It would’ve been this big thing with you if I did, and your negativity is a bummer.

Does she know the truth?

Yeah, I told her just about everything. Yours?

Nothing.

I shout for the two of them to come downstairs, Nathan and I need to talk more without Glen assuming I’m ignoring him. Maybe that is my fault because I’ve yet told her the truth.

When Nathan makes it down, I yank him to walk in the opposite direction of the girls. “What. The. Fuck?”

“If you ever snatch me away from my lady again, you’re not going to have a neck to hold up your head.”

Throwing up my hands, I apologize and it’s the last damn time I’m going to say sorry today, dammit.

“Listen to me and listen clearly, whatever you think you’re doing or you’re trying to do, it’s too late. You’ve teased yourself and it’ll hurt worse for the both of you if you were to walk away from her right now. Just test the waters. See where it goes, just get the hell away from here so I can spend some time with, Tracey.” He slaps his car keys in my hand. “Just give me a few more hours and we’ll come by your house later.”

“Two hours.”

“More like six to eight.”

“Fine,” I grumble. “I just don’t want to hurt her.”

Nathan places his hand on my shoulder and squeezes it. “You won’t hurt her if you’d just let the mating happen. Trust you. Right now, you’re her greatest protection.”

Nodding, I turn away from him and approach Glen. “Come with me,” I tell her.

#

“Glen Richards!”

I’m jarred awake as the angry shout comes again. “Glen Richards!” The fear coating Glen’s emotions makes it hard to stable the havoc boiling beneath my flesh.

Calmly, I whisper, “You’re mother’s husband?”

She nods, pushing her hand over my chest as she pulls me back down. “Just ignore him. I always do.”

“He’s yelling your name at the top of his lungs.” The annoyance for this drunken male’s request riles my tainted blood.

She shrugs. “I know. He’ll do it, and then will soon be followed by my mother. It’s what they do when they get high.”

I’ve failed to notice the faint scent of narcotics lacing the air until she mentioned their inebriated state. “You smell this shit every night?” My nose turns up, my disgust invisible to her in the darkness of her room.

“Yep. I usually push a towel under the door, or sleep at Tracey’s.”

“Glen!” a woman shouts with the man this time. “Come on! Come out! Party with us!” she exclaims in a singsong voice.

Glen pulls on me again. “Lie back down. They’ll stop after their third hit. You’ll know because the smell will get worse, mixed with cigarette smoke and my sister will start shouting.”

I fall back on the bed. It’s eight o’clock in the morning, Saturday, and Glen’s bed is the most uncomfortable mattress I’ve laid on. Glen’s living situation weighs on me. “Your sister gets high with him?”

“Yep, ever since she graduated high school two years ago.”

The third call is accompanied by bangs against the door.

Glen doesn’t move, doesn’t flinch, or jolt. Instead, her finger calmly traces circles on my chest.

Even breaths. I focus on my even breaths, maintaining a calm that prevents me from thrashing from her hard mattress, snatching the door off its hinges and beating them with it. It’s beyond obvious Glen’s used to this behavior, used to smelling the burning chemicals and illegal plants. Drugs I know take an effect on her state of mind.

“Glen, you don’t have to stay here. You can always come to my house.”

Silence.

“Did you hear me?” I know she did. I heard my words enter her ears and settle in her mind. But they didn’t rest. They went in and ran out.

“Scott.” She lifts her head, and I become the center of her attention. Her question is one of which I’ve already prepared my lie. This scene has played in a dream, and I’m witnessing Deja-vu. Deja-vu is my worst enemy because every dream comes true. “I’ll pay a penny for your thoughts and a quarter for your secrets.”

“Why are secrets more expensive than my thoughts?” I query, entertaining her idea of mystery.

“You’re forced to reveal your secrets. One may ask a simple thought.”

“I have a thought, but you have to pay me first.”

She slides from the bed. A black comforter covering a window is nailed to the wall, eliminating all entry of the morning light. But, even without, as I watch Glen cross the floor. Her bodies covered in freckles, from her toes to her forehead. It’s cute, yet distracting. She’s petite, a figure that oddly reminds me of my mom. And seeing Glen bare, makes this an odd moment to be thinking about my mother.

From the middle drawer of a dresser sat catty-corner, she searches for something. I try to keep some things a surprise, keep her thoughts blocked off, to make things normal.

I don’t know. . . Maybe I like surprises.

“A penny.” She straddles my hips and looks down at me. “But first.” The penny’s held out in front of my face between her thumb and index finger. “Your thought.”

I nod, and think of a response she wouldn’t expect. Something that will maybe start a conversation about what I am. “Though suns set and rise in dawns and dusks. And hearts grow to break, they pump for lust. What’s real in life if, in lies, grow truth? How can you know nothing of me, but hanker for I love you?”

She stares.

I blink.

The words repeat in her mind. A rerun of rhymes and questions she tries to think of which would be a good one. But of all the thoughts, she’s silent.

I test my luck. “I’ll pay a penny for your thoughts.”

She nods.

“But first, I need to ask you a question.”

She nods.

“There are a lot of things in the world many people are unaware of. Answers, most won’t begin to know the question to.” I look away from her for a moment. “I have a secret. And I already know how you’re going to accept it. But tell me. I can be someone who can hurt you, cause you a world of harm, but if you will be patient with me, I’ll do my best to make sure that never happens. What do you say?”

Harm and hurt sound like hate in her mind. Patience equals regret. And never was like I said always. Every word that left my lips morphed into something different in her mind. Something dark, inaccurate, and devastating.

She thought I was different, she thought I’d be better than the family she has. She thought I’d possibly protect her, that I’d love her. Because in truth, an abysmal truth that tears me apart every second she thinks about it. She just wants someone to love her.

A grief-stricken expression steals the happiness she wore seconds ago. Her eyes sadden and her gaze upon me morphs into disappointment. I hurt her, simple words that were questions, nothing yet a fact in her mind, but potential. . . I destroyed her in seconds. And I realize this is how broken she is. She’s not willing to take a chance or step out on faith or believe good may possibly happen. She fears change and thinks risks aren’t worth it.

I’m not willing or ready to steal her happiness.

“I’m sorry,” I mutter. “Forget I said anything.” I slip a hand behind her neck and pull her to me. With a kiss, far different from the others, but of the same caress, I sip the sadness from her eyes and feel her heart with what she interprets as bubbles. I connect our lines of thought and latch onto her emotions to replace her depression with the happiness I stole, and blank her mind of the questions I’d asked.

When she comes up for air, breaking out of our kiss, I say, “Let’s go to my house, hang out there for a few days. Just tell your mom you’re sleeping over at Tracey’s.”

“Great.”

I replace the lost time with kisses and coddles, with sex and cuddles. When we make it to my house, we sit around the living room, watching some stupid reality show. She sits on the floor, back resting against the couch.

This is a seriously messed up situation. We shouldn’t be together and I’m forcing myself to be accepted by a woman who may never accept me!

Glen grabs my leg, and I snatch it out of her grasp. “Don’t touch me, Glen. Just watch your show.”

Scott

“I don’t think you heard me the first time. You. Are. An. Idiot.” Nathan paces the floor. He thinks something is wrong with me. That I’m having some kind of Sephlem malfunction. “You can’t just go in there and mess with her thoughts.”

“What choice do I have? If you could’ve seen her face.”

“How often do you do this?”

Stressed, I drag, “Dude . . . Way too often.”

“Scott, you’re insecure.” He claps once and adds, “That’s your problem. You’re afraid and insecure.”

My father follows Nathan in his pacing. I’m starting to believe there is something wrong with me. “Son,” he starts, chin pinched between his fingers. “It’s not uncommon for a male Sephlem to not know how to respond to their mates. This method of acceptance, I’ve heard has been used among many. But it is one that is temporary. The outcome of not truly being accepted by your mate is far worse than her rejecting you. If she’s human and blind to what is happening with her, the changes. . . It will have an adverse effect.”

“Nathan mated with a human girl. Nothing’s wrong with them.” I find the need to draw attention to the fact that Nathan, too, has a human mate and none of this is an issue for him. Why is it one for me and my human mate?

“We’re in uncharted waters, Scott. I’ve never known anyone to mate with human, male or female.” He scratches his slicked-back, blond hair. “The main key to mating is trust. If a Sephlem were to mate with a Nemenite for example, the two will need to establish trust between each other, being truthful from day one. If they aren’t, the hate that’s already inside of the two for what they are, in addition to the insecurity of held secrets. Think of it as the two standing in a downpour of acid rain.”

I drop down on the nearest chair. Family is supposed to be helpful. They’re supposed to help by providing some reasonable answer to the flaring confusion and blaring questions. These two . . . they aren’t helping me figure out how to fix my issue.

Heat rushes over my body. Loud, tormenting voices shout through my mind, causing my hands to shake.

Anger.

Rage.

Wrath!

I rise from my seat, flipping the table. “Shut up!” I shout at Nathan and my father. Rambling. Just rambling senseless murmurs. Just pointless words that they don’t care about, wasting the small benefit of vocabulary. “Shut your fucking mouths!”

“Scott!” my dad snaps.

His voice is muffled, but I hear its evident antagonism.

My chest rumbles and is shortly followed by a holler that scratches my throat. No, not a holler. . . It happens again. It’s a growl. A roar that helps release this raging fury.

But it doesn’t. It worsens it, helps heighten it and give life to the monster inside me.

“Shut up!” Another growl, and I’m moving, charging through the kitchen.

“Scott!” comes again, shouting through what sounds like a glass door. “What’s wrong?”

“Shut up!” I snarl unintentionally. I’m totally out of control. I realize that. That’s what’s wrong. I’m gone. I’m no longer the veil. I’m the cork that once held the demonic contents inside the veil. And I lay, dormant, on the cracked tile joined by the wall plaster and the wood splinters. I rest, rolling side to side, watching the contents of the veil spew out in a vicious rage. A rage with no meaning, no point. Just a burden to my cousin and my father as they battle with this red flushed man who’s destroying the kitchen of my mother’s house.

Hours drag by. I rant and destroy everything I touch. I hurt the two people who are trying to help. And as I witness this from a deep place the monster has stuffed me into, I realize the source of my anger is non-existent. I’m not mad, it’s just won over me.

#

It’s dark. Pitch Black Darkness. . .

I blink.

“Scott. Can you hear me?” The heavy fog clears. Nathan’s call fades in and out. “Scott, can you see me?”

Something snaps three times.

“Hello. . .”

A waving hand slowly reveals before my eyes. I swat it. “What’d I do?”

Nathan falls back in a sit, a level different from me. “You spazzed out, bro. I mean really spazzed out. What’s up?” If it weren’t for the sense of disturbance in his shuttering tone, I’d think everything was okay looking at his face. He’s always been so good at that. And here I am, spazzing out like I’m new to the Burden.

“It’s the mating,” I admit. “It’s been going on for a while, slowly getting more and more uncontrollable. The closer I get to her, the stronger it gets, the worse I’m getting. I told you. You don’t feel that way with Tracey?”

“Not at all. I’m as calm as I’ve ever been with her. Even when I’m not around her, bro, the entire world is safe. Including Nemanites. Everyone, save my dad. . .”

I rub my eyes and prop myself up against the wall at my back. “What the fuck is wrong with me?” I scan the room, different from the one I was in before. “Where’d my dad go?”

Nathan’s face falls. He goes to stand, but I stop him.

“Tell me. I hurt him, didn’t I? Tell me, Nathan!” I shout.

“Whoa, Scott. You need to come down.”

I jump to my feet, rushing from the living room. But I realize I’m not at my house. Looking around me, I’m in a guarded room at his. One of the rooms we’d use when Burdeneds can’t control their beast, or when we’d need to do a healing or operation on someone. The walls are white, the floor is tile, there are no windows, and it’s soundproof. “What’s going on? When did you bring me here? Why am I at your house?”

He stares as contemplation darkening his eyes.

“Nathan. Just tell me what I did.”

His shoulders rise then fall, along with his eyebrows as he breathes. “You were spazzing out. I mean really flipping out. Yeah, you hurt your dad . . . but he’s fine, my grandmother was able to heal him. I brought you here after you hurt Glen.”

I drown. . . Drown in detestation. Nathan’s words bleed into my conscious like a slow drip of oil, slowly filling my head with goop. Then it hits me . . .

Before I know it, Nathan’s flying back into a wall from my shove, and racing from the room. I’m faster than I remember, running through my aunt’s house, searching for my mate.

I hate his house is so big.

A closed door separates me from her but nerves hold me back from turning the knob.

“You shove me out of your way to make it here and you don’t even have the balls to open the door?”

“Nathan, you couldn’t get more irritating right now.”

“Just saying.”

“Stop just saying.” I continue to face the door, unable to look anyone in the eye with the way I feel about myself.

“All I’m trying to do is help.”

I take the knob in my hand. “What do I say? What have you told her? Help with that.”

Seconds tick by before he offers, “Tell her your house was burglarized. Someone broke in and tried to hurt you two. Tried to hurt everyone. She saw the house trashed, so that will help further your story. You saved her. And to keep you two safe. . . Umm, say you’re going to stay here for a while. At least, that’s not all a lie. And if you look at yourself like two people—considering the circumstances—the thought of her being hurt by a stranger isn’t a total lie either.”

“Stop with the weak-ass jokes, Nate.”

“Man, go with that. Makeup what you must. Kiss her. Seal it. And she’ll believe you. You won’t give her a choice to decide otherwise.”

“In case she tells Tracey, make sure she has the same story.”

“Of course. I’m going back to her now.” His hand falls on my shoulder. “Scott, stay here as long as you need to. We’ll work this out. If you would just stop fighting, stop denying it, stop blaming the mating, the beast and just accept it’s the way it is, I’m telling you, it will get a hell of a lot easier. You and Glen are supposed to be mated. You’re born to be with her.”

“Impossible, Nate. You and I both know that.”

“If it weren’t meant to be, Scott, she wouldn’t have been born to accompany you, or better yet, you wouldn’t have taken on her heart. Accept it or you’re going to battle with this forever. It’s only going to get worse.”

Worse . . .

“Nathan. I know how much worse this can get. I’ve seen it. Every time I close my eyes. I can’t not know how much worse this can get.” I face him. “Nate, please.” It feels as though I swallow acid before I say, “You can’t let me kill Glen. You can’t let me hurt her again.”

He pats my back twice as he embraces me. I return it, ramming my fist against his back, fighting back my fears for my mate, and thankful he understands.

I shove him back. “Thanks.”

Within the room, it’s an area filled with an invisible fog of misery. Why does she sulk? I wonder.

“Glen.” A whisper, as quiet as a mouse, leaves my lips.

She’s silent.

Sleeping.

In her slumber, I correct my mistakes. She’ll be fine. I can make this okay. I can help her love me. I can help her accept me. I can make it so that we work. Just keep her mind on me, lockdown on her doubts so she’ll never realize I’m not who or what she expects. That’s how this will work. At least she’ll be content.

Today’s events were horrid. Things broke, bruises presented, and I fear hurting her. But if I can help her help me, we’ll be okay.

I seal the change of her past with a kiss against her lips.

It breaks me apart; having a mate that will never know me. She’ll never understand me. All because she won’t accept me. This isn’t what anyone said it would be like.

I’ll have to lie for the rest of our life.

Scott

“Since you don’t want to find Tracey and Nathan, knowing they’ve been oddly gone for hours, you think we can go somewhere while we wait for them to come back?” Glen asks. We lay on a couch in Nathan’s basement, just finished the third chick flick of the night.

“We could, but it’s getting late. Everything should be closing. Where were you thinking about going?”

“Somewhere we can breathe. Things with us are turning around, we’re getting along better and I think we could benefit from new scenery and fresh air.” She stands from the couch, and I follow her out of Nathan’s basement. There’s no thought before execution, she’s just acting off impulse or I can’t access her thoughts because I have no idea what she’s thinking.

Glen leads us to my car, parked out front. When we reach it, she throws her hand out for the keys.

I grab them from my pocket and place them in her palm. “What do you have planned?” I ask with a tight smirk.

“You’ll see. Get in. I’m driving.”

Interesting, I think. Following orders, I round the car and settle in the passenger’s seat. Thirty minutes out, she drives to a wooded area, parking on grassland. It’s dark now and darker beyond those trees before us.

“Come on,” she says. “I want to show you something.”

My seatbelt clicks from her unbuckling it. It slides across my chest and finds its place on the paneling of the car. My eyes dance over her face, taking in its canvas of freckles; beauty in its rarest form. No make-up could make her any more gorgeous than she is. And she’s so beautiful, illuminated by the light from the dash.

I lift a finger to touch her cheek, but she stops me before I can make it.

Pushing my hand back down, she nods toward the door. “Let’s go, Scott.”

A mile, maybe two, we stride through the woods. I help her over fallen trees, and stumps, still wondering where the hell we’re going.

“Glen. What’s up? What are we doing out here?”

“Just come on. You’ll love it.” Her voice echoes through the darkness, calling back to me without turning her head.

Finally, we stumble upon a large tree. She circles it and finds an oversized rope. I look up, awed by a large tree house nestled on its thick branches.

“Whoa.” I take the rope from her and motion for her to get on my back. “How long has this been here? How’d you find it? When’d you find it?”

“Do you seriously think you can climb this rope with me on your back?”

“Of course,” I tell her, not yet able to take my eyes from the treehouse.

She jumps on my back and I climb. “How come you can do stuff like this? Like you’re super strong.”

“No, you’re super light. You should eat more if you want to be heavy. But I like you like this.” I quickly make it to the wooden house. I settle her on the floor and pull out my phone for light.

“My dad died when I was thirteen.” She leaves my side, walking to a far corner where a wood box sits. “When I was younger, I was more of a tomboy; we built things, created all sorts of ideas.” She looks up and around the sealed wood ceiling. “We built this, he and I. No one knows about this place.” She gets up and lifts the top off the box in which she sat. Grabbing what looks like candles, she sets them around the floor. “Be careful not to knock these over.”

“Duh.” I use the flashlight on my phone to look around. Another, the larger box sits off in another corner. In it are two blankets. I grab them. “You come here often?”

“Home can get crazy.” She comes over and helps me spread out the blankets. “I know I kind of make it seem like it doesn’t bother me. That everything is okay and I’m fine with my mother being a coke head, my sister being her partner in crime and my stepdad who probably has sex with both of them and is just waiting on the moment to catch me at home by myself—” Her words fade out for a split second as I avoid my anger. Her mentioning that is deadly for her stepfather. “—you know?”

Without hesitation, I confirm, “Of course.”

We drop on the floor, curling up with each other. I hit the light on my phone and let the lit candles do their job.

“You don’t ask,” she says after a moment of silence.

“Ask what?”

The spare blanket, she pulls over us, but she’s warm. It seems she does it for comfort. “About my past, me, my mother, my sister, and my real dad. You never ask anything about me or try to get to know me. You act like you already know.”

Her mentioning that forces me to realize she’s right. I’ve never asked because I do. I know everything. I didn’t know this though, about this treehouse, or about her building it. But then again, I didn’t know it was there for me to know. “I’m sorry. But I would like to know everything about you. We can start with you telling me about your father.” The thought of him makes her happy. I like that feeling.

“His name was Dean Richards. I loved him, of course. Even though it was six years ago, everything he and I did, I remember as clear as five minutes ago.” And she does, days with them building birdhouses, sheds, and this treehouse. They enjoyed happy times together and not one tea party, which I expected to see, between a father and his daughter. But no, not Glen, she was bringing him mud pies and pocket knives. Her sister, on the other hand, did enjoy tea parties with him. Her hair is dirty blond like Glen’s, but she doesn’t have the freckles. The drugs and cigarettes have really taken a toll on her these days. Her mother too.

Glen’s mother was beautiful…once. A memory of her walking in on Glen and her father working on an old-school car arises. Her mother, while her hair is red, she has freckled cheeks and droopy eyes. Today, she looks like hell wrapped her up and gave her back to the world because not even the demons wanted her.

I notice Glen is still talking when her thoughts change. “I’m happy we got together, Scott. We’ve known each other for years, but never really hung out or you never really seemed to have an interest in me. It was always Pepper. What changed?”

The stars . . . I shrug. “You’ve always been a sight to my eyes, Glen.”

“I’ve actually always had a thing for you. But it wasn’t until that day you caught me from falling down the stairs did I really see you. I started feeling something for you. I wasn’t sure if we’d hit it off and it didn’t seem like you liked me even though we were together or after what we did. But you’ve changed a lot. We spend more time together, you’re more patient, and I’m falling in love with you.”

There it goes. She said it. The L-word. I’ve been waiting to hear it, but I knew this regret would sink in, for lying to her for this time, hurting her, and she not knowing about it. I don’t hesitate to say, “I love you, Glen.” And though I mean it to the soul, I don’t. How true is love, my love, if I can’t be honest with my mate, if she really doesn’t know me? Every day has been a lie and though love and lie start and end in the same letters, and they both hurt, no matter how hard I try, they’ll never be the same word.

I have to tell her the truth. I can’t lie to her anymore. “Glen, let’s head back.”

“No. Wait.” She sits up, tucking her hair behind her ears. Eagerness steals her contempt feeling. “I never brought a boy up here before. I’ve never brought anyone up here.”

I lay, looking up at her. Her mind isn’t going where I suspect and she expects me to just lay here and admire her.

“Let me get this all out, okay. Try not to interrupt.” I nod and rub her thigh pressed against my side. “After my dad died, it felt like my life was ripped from me. My mother was already a spiral headed downward, my sister has never been a woman with her head in the right place, and my stepfather . . . well . . . he’s about keeping the world in hell if he could. It wasn’t okay. Nothing was okay. Tracey, she gave me an exit. She’s the best friend I could’ve ever asked for. No questions, no judgments, she’s just there for me, her and her mom. But not even my closest friend can fill a hole so wide in my heart it steals my outlook on life. But you, Scott. I don’t know. You’re not super perfect, but you’re perfect enough that bit by bit, day by day, you pour a little more love in me, a little more happiness, a little more joy, a bit more contentment.” She wraps her arms around herself. “And I’m just waiting for when my heart has no more room to take you in. My body, my mind, every bit of me wants you, and I can’t explain it. I can’t explain why I don’t know what it is wedged inside me that’s wanting you. But I need it. And I brought you here. . .” Her eyes float around the large treehouse, as she finds the words. “So I could share with you that most important thing in my life. My accomplishment. My small space in the world where it’s all about Glen and the air is fresh and no one is yelling for me, or I’m not trying to keep up with everyone else because I’m just a little bit less than normal. I brought you to this special part of my heart so you can fill this up too. So do it, Scott. Fill us up. Take me as I am in every way possible, and I’ll try to do my best to accept you as you are.” Glen leans over, laying her head on my chest, but faces away from me.

I stroke her hair, letting her words replay. I’ll tell her the truth, not just because she asked but because I want to. Those words, however, are human words. They say I’ll take you heartbroken, I’ll take you as a geek or weirdo, or I’ll take you as a thief or serial killer. But those are not supernatural words. They don’t say, I’ll take you full of demon, I’ll take you knowing one day though you can love me . . . you can also kill me and without hesitation. I’ll take you red flushed skin, black sleek hair, color-changing eyes, sharp damn teeth, and black nails. A monster. Her words don’t say she’ll accept a monster.

We’ll see. . .

As I wait for Glen to be ready to leave, I go over my explanation. This time, I’ll make sure to pay close attention to the words I use, making sure I don’t trigger the wrong thought or assumption. When we make it back to Nathan’s house, I’ll tell her. And I hope she accepts me. Please accept me.

Scott

The next time you choose to reveal a big secret about yourself, can you let me know in advance? Nathan complains. Apparently, Tracey’s been giving him a hard time about secrets too. But Nathan’s Nathan, he won’t lie but he won’t tell the truth. He’ll just find some awesome way to revert the conversation to another topic or and use the perfect words to talk his way out of it. Freaking genius.

Nate, she seems okay. She’s not spazzing out. I told her and she’s cool. I’m amazed, totally swept off my feet by my mate.

Great. Nathan belittles. I’m glad things are working out. Now get out.

I let Glen shove me out of Nathan’s room. She wants to know more, she’s curious and she’s jumpy. I’m jumpy, I’mcurious, and I want to know more about what she’s thinking.

We’ve moved in with Nathan and taken up the vacant room of the main floor just down the hall from Taylor’s.

“I knew something was up,” she says, pushing the door closed. “You were able to climb a rope with me on your back. Why’d you wait so long to tell me? Why keep it a secret?”

I can’t tell her I thought she wouldn’t understand, nor can I tell her she wouldn’t accept me. And I definitely can’t tell her that I told her once and she instantly disapproved. That shows doubt and would make her defensive. Not just that, but, I don’t want to say something that will change her mood.

We’re finally okay, we’re leveled out, and happy. We had an amazing moment in a treehouse of all places, and I appreciate her being one hundred percent open for me. “I just wanted to give you the same thing you’re giving to me, Glen. You deserve the truth.”

“Well, thanks.”

I wait for something. . . I don’t know, maybe a question, maybe a sign of resentment. But her face is an empty freckled canvas as she strides from the door to me, sitting on the bed. “You’re welcome.”

Sliding onto my lap, she’s eye to eye. “I love you, Scott Fallon. You, like this.” The back of her hand grazes my cheek. “Is perfect.”

“This isn’t the way I really—”

“Shh, don’t ruin it.”

My brows knit.

“I don’t want to know that part. I appreciate you telling me. But this Scott is the only Scott I care about knowing. Because I know this is the real Scott.”

Words have never hurt so deep. A voice so sweet, so powerful in my ears has never murdered my soul so slowly. To be told you’re everything but accepted is like being told you were born to die. My mate, the woman bred for me, doesn’t accept me. This me, this veil, the façade she’s okay with. But the real me. . .

I was an idiot to think I’d ever be accepted by Glen. The dreams, they told me the truth. And yet, I played with them, taking advice from people who’d never be in my shoes. Now what . . .?

#

Sleep is the body’s way to restore energy. To relax the body and the mind. Another night, I wake up in a cold sweat, even while lying next to Glen. Now that is a new one. Since sleeping beside Glen, my periods of sleep were peaceful, dreamless. Tonight, on the other hand, they’re back.

I was almost hopeful the nightmares had passed. That I’d maybe mated out of them. My soul’s encased, struggling to break free. I left Glen in the bed, leaving for the bathroom. And I stand over the sink, mirror before me, seeing death reflected in my own eyes. I drown in seas of pearls, and my love . . . she’ll be my demise.

The night’s soon to turn to dawn, and I’ll be back to the life of hiding. I’ll be hiding in my own home from my own mate, from myself. . .

A knock on the bathroom’s door alerts me. “Scott,” Little Nathan calls.

My reflection, a mask, replicating the settled in Scott everyone is used to. “Yeah.” I pull the door open.

“Cindy needs to use this bathroom. Are you almost finished in here?”

“You let that girl spend the night?”

The corner of his lip turns up. “Yeah. Didn’t your girl stay the night?”

“She did,” I say, stepping around him, out of the bathroom. “Be careful with that girl. You know you need to be careful with what your father did. He’s marked you so any girls you decide to fool around with, you need to run a background check on.”

“She’s fine, I’m not trying to marry her, just you know . . . Speaking of . . .”

“Your brother keeps a box stashed in his closet, the second drawer in the dresser. Tracey should be sleeping, so he’ll let you grab them.”

He nods and leaves me to my business.

Glen’s snoring when I reenter the room. I won’t worry about waking her; she deserves to sleep peacefully, calmly, without worrying about getting high or someone shouting her name. Yes, this life seems better than the one she had and that’s what matters. Making sure she’s happy and comfortable. So, what if I’m unhappy.

I search for a book and a pen. I left my journal at home and I need to let out the voices. Prior to meeting Glen, it had been a while since I’d written out my feelings, but when I was a child, it’s how I helped manage control. I wrote out the rage, the anger. I kept my mind from being idle. That’s when things got uncontrollable. An idle mind . . .

There isn’t anything to write with or write on in the bedroom, but I know I’ll find something in the living room. Just a pen and scrap paper will do. As long as I can write it out, I’ll be okay with my new mating arrangement.

Scott

“Scott!” Shouts echo through the room.

Scott! They yell in my head.

“Scott! Stop!”

I’m the cork again. But I’m facing the opposite direction of the commotion. Not only have I completely lost it, but I’ve blocked myself off from the sensible part of me. I’m lost. . .

Scott! Control yourself!

Cries . . . Hollers . . . Sobbing . . .

If you don’t get in control, Scott, I’ll regret my next move. “I’ll let you go,” Nathan informs. You’ve hurt her bad this time, Scott. Pull it together so you can help her. Or else you’re going to lose her and yourself. 

He shoves the cork in the veil, compressing the overpowering Burden taking me over. I whip around, rushing to Glen, cradled in Tracey’s arms. Stumbling to my knees, I pull Glen from the floor, taking my mouth to her battered face. She’s swollen and bleeding out.

I scream, feeling the life leave her.

Sluggishly, I lift her, trying to find wherever she’s wounded the worst.

“Her back,” Tracey helps.

Glen’s too heavy to lift. I scream again, hating I did this! Hating those fucking dreams are coming true. Everything, it is all coming true.

Nathan helps me with Glen, but there’s nothing I can do. The less of Glen, the less of me.

#

I awake in a cold sweat, mouth cotton dry, head hammering against my skull. My body’s weak. I don’t know if it was a dream that caused my discomfort, or if it’s extremely hot in here. But I’m uncomfortable.

“Scott!” Taylor yells through the door. “Scott!” Her alerted call has me jumping to my feet, rushing for the door. “The hospital called. They said Glen is okay.”

I sink to the floor. Recent events come smashing down on me. Planet sized memories of screams, my bloody mate, my dying mate, beats me down. “I hurt her bad,” I whisper to the floor.

“You did, Scott. But she’s okay. And that’s what counts. Come on.” She helps me from the floor. “Roehl’s back. He attacked Nathan and Tracey.”

“What!?” I straighten my spine, able to stand on my own. “When did he come back?”

“I don’t know, but he hurt Tracey bad. She’s okay now. Nathan and her left, they’ve been gone for a few hours. I’ve been waiting for you to get up.” Taylor looks me over. “You okay?”

“A little weak, but good enough to get Glen and bring her home.”

“Good. Go. Nathan’s talking about visiting Roehl tonight.”

My hair feels like it’s all over my head and my clothes need to be changed. But I’m going anyway. “I’ll go now.”

“No Scott. You can’t go to the hospital with dried blood all over your face.”

Hmm . . . I brush my fingers through my hard, crunchy hair in an attempt to tame it. And contemplate the idea of dried blood mopping my face.

“You should at least wash your face, Scott.”

I nod, heading for the bathroom. The man in the mirror, covered in blood, isn’t I. He’s the monster. I’m not a monster. I’m Scott Fallon, the man accepted by Glen Richards. I’m not a Sephlem, I’m not a veil, and I’m not a demon. . . I’m a human being, normal, and in love. Like any regular being. I’m not mated. I’m just in love.

Madly in love.

I wash my face revealing the man I want to be. The deep regret, causing discomfort to keep my guard up, loosens. The gray in my eyes churns, turning blue. And I smile. Force a smile is more like it.

#

A few hellos and I’m here to see Glen gets me up to Glen’s room easily. Getting Glen checked out may be the challenge.

I’m not exactly sure of what to expect when Glen sees me. Will she want to? Will she remember? Will I need to make her forget?

She’s resting, eyes closed, but awake.

“Scott,” she calls. “Is that you?”

I pull back a curtain that separated us. “Hey.”

She smiles and I’m relieved. “I’m so happy to see you.” She isn’t well. Her face, however, isn’t swollen or cut as I remember.

“Hi.” I settle in a chair conveniently sat beside her bed. Taking her cold hand, I slowly begin to heal her. “How do you feel?”

“Confused. I’m not exactly sure what’s going on. Tracey and Nathan came and saw me. I’m in the hospital and must have hit my head. Physically, I don’t know.”

“I think you’re fine. See if you can sit up.”

She does so with ease. I pull her from the bed into a hug. She’s small in my arms, but I squeeze her tight. God, I am so sorry for hurting her. “The last thing I want to do is lose you, Glen. I am so sorry. I love you so much.”

She rubs my head and kisses my cheek. “Oh, Scott. You’ve done nothing wrong. Why are you sorry?”

I pull back, seeing Glen’s blithe expression. “Should I not be sorry?”

“All I did was hit my head, Scott. Accidents happen.” Confused about what she thinks happened, I peek inside her head. She remembers nothing from today. She’s not even sure why she’s in the hospital. The thought of why, confuses her further, but she doesn’t push it.

“Come on, Glen. Let’s get you out of here. You’ll feel better when we get home.”

“Scott, living with your family is not our home. That’s your aunt’s house.”

I pick her up from the hospital bed. “Well, let’s go to my aunt’s house and allow you to get some rest.”

“Sure, and you can tell me why you think you have to be sorry about me hitting my head.”

That makes me feel awkward. There’s no explanation besides the truth, and if she’s forgotten it, I won’t push it. As I walk, I meddle around to see what all she remembers. And she remembers nothing. Oddly. Nothing.

Her being in the hospital has her clueless. And it’s pointless for it to remain a part of her memory. It will only worsen her confusion and arouse questions I don’t have it in me to answer.

I often think Glen is on to me. The way she looks at me most times shows suspicion. She isn’t wrong, but that would mean she never forgets but always remembers and probably knows I’m messing around in her head. Then I’d be making our situation worse rather than better.

I let my thoughts send me over. Send me crazy. I hope Glen can’t see inside my head, I hope she’s not that advanced in our bonding yet.

Scott

If I thought this day couldn’t have a worse turn of events, something happens with Glen and Tracey. Nathan and I rush back to his house after an extensive visit with Roehl.

While Glen seems fine, Tracey isn’t. Nathan rushes to heal her and blows like a volcano. I’ve pushed him over the edge and of all things harmed Tracey. Rather, Glen harmed Tracey. He’s frantic over her and I promised I had it all under control, that he and Tracey were safe.

Nate, I’m sorry. I just need a little more time. I’m going to tell her tonight, just stand by.

Scott, I warned you. You had better be happy Tracey’s here, she seriously saved you two. 

I settle in the sand, by the lake to tell Glen, again, our secret.

I get the same outcome . . . rejection. But this time, I deal.

“I’m not supposed to love you, Scott!” Glen shouts. “I’m not supposed to be stuck here; living in this hell of a world you call life! I’m not supposed to be hurt! You’re a sick being! Whatever you call yourself! You’re a liar! A manipulator! You’re the devil and you know it!”

It’s the yelling. It’s her heart pumping in my chest. It burns, rejecting me because that’s what she wants. She wants to refuse me and can’t. There had to be some type of universal mistake. I mated with the wrong person. I had to.

Mating with someone, being bound to someone . . . loving someone shouldn’t be this hard. It shouldn’t be this complicated. I’m ruining my mate’s life and I don’t know the first step in fixing it.

It occurs to me. There’s only one way to make this right.

Scott, if you don’t get your shouting mate under control. I’m going to slap her, Nathan warns.

Death. . . That has to be the only answer.

Glen’s shouts ring in my head. Words morph into DIE DIE DIE. They ram against my frontal lobe, charging and attacking my being, shaking my skin, and violating my better judgment.

I back away from them. If Nathan attacks Glen, he’ll kill her taking out the both of us. That’s the only way Glen won’t be angry anymore. That’s the only way to make her happy. Maybe she’ll even go to a happy place. Maybe she’ll stop yelling.

Yes. That’s the answer.

“You’re just going to let him talk to me like that?” Glen whips around, more anger’s in her eyes than it’s ever been. She’s flipped out, attacked Tracey, and attacked me. She’s gained abilities and I don’t know how to help her. She doesn’t know anything about herself.

“I’ve tried, Glen.” Gah, I’ve tried so hard. “But you don’t accept me, you don’t choose me.” You don’t love me. My mate doesn’t love me.

I back away further away from her. I’m as lost as I’ve ever been in life. What is it I’m supposed to do?

What are you doing, Scott? Nathan queries.

Just do it, Nathan. I can’t go on like this. This is not the life for her or me. 

I’m not going to do that, Scott. Please, just tell her the truth and stay with her until she accepts you. None of us can go on like this much longer. 

I wait for Glen to shout her last few words and then I go in for the kill.

Glen

They truly aren’t lying, Glen. I jump at the sound of Scott’s voice in my head. I don’t know how else I can tell you. I’m not what you want. And I’m sorry you’ve been burdened with me. I just have no control over it.

I slowly approach Scott, skeptical of the boy I fell in love with. “I can hear you in my head like a thought.”

He nods.

“Why?”

“Because you mated into my family.”

“Mated?”

“I’m your soulmate, in layman’s terms. I’ve been trying to tell you, Glen.” He throws his hands up, shaking his head. “But you hate it. You hate who I am, what makes me different.”

“What makes you so different? You’re like them.” I point behind me at his cousin and Tracey, who I thought was my friend. But she’s a liar, like these two. She’s been hiding things and is just as bad as they are.

“I am. Just like them. And I’m sorry, but now you are too. You’ve got all these new things going on with you that you don’t understand and it’s my fault.”

“You should be sorry!” I shout. “What’s different about me? Why am I left out, why am I the one lied to? You’re a complete asshole!”

“This is why! You’re accusing, you’re loud, and you don’t listen. Glen, I’m sorry I lied, but I’ve seriously tried to tell you. Though you think you’re really understanding, you’re not. You want things plain and simple and this . . .” Scott points at himself. “Is not simple. I’m havoc, I’m reckless, I’m uncertain. Nothing about me is predictable. And you weren’t willing to accept that. But don’t blame Tracey or Nathan for my mistakes. I should’ve been honest with you from the beginning instead of trying to be perfect for you.”

“Scott, you never had to lie to me. I told you everything, you know things about me I’ve never told a soul, and you’re supposed to understand me!”

“Glen!” Scott shouts, shutting me up. “You’re supposed to understand me too.” He throws his fist against his chest. “You’re supposed to know my darkness and hear me out as well. But you refused, you rejected it, voided out my darkest secret because it’s something that you aren’t comfortable with. Love is a two-way street. I can’t only love you. I can’t only care for you. Yes, it may be all about you in my world. But you have to love me too. I want to be cared for too. I want you to want me just as bad—if not more—than I want you!”

I let his words settle in. Anger and embarrassment battle for the top spot of my emotions. The confusion forces my skin to shake, to shiver in a way I’ve never experienced until today. It’s violent.

“Glen,” Scott calls. “Just calm down.” He reaches for me. Kindness sticks in his deep blue eyes as he smiles. “Let me help it go away. Come here.”

I bring my hands before me, palms front, body shaking. “I don’t like this feeling, Scott. My body feels weird.”

He crosses the sand, nearing me. I want to push him away, but instead, my arms wrap their away around him. They draw him near me, where I’ve discovered I want Scott to remain. Where I comfort in a moment that should be filled with hate and dismay. But here I am and here I stay. Despite him hiding things, him lying, and his . . . demons. I don’t want them, but I want him. And I will find a way to have one without the other.

Glen

I haven’t been home in weeks.

Not like anyone at my house cares. They don’t call or check on me. I could be somewhere lying dead in a ditch and they wouldn’t lift a finger to call the police and inform I’m missing. No Amber Alert for Glen Richards. The girl forgotten.

My time is sometimes spent contemplating why I want Scott so badly, why I love him so much. He, Tracey, and his cousin Nathan often relay some of my outbursts—as they’ve described it—are reactions from this claiming, or calling, or I don’t know . . . fate called mating. And because we’re bound—still not exactly sure what that means—I act out because we don’t know how to handle it. There’s this whole scientific concept about being a perfectly mated couple. Yeah, like perfect and couple should be in the same sentence. So apparently, Scott and I aren’t that. I blame it on Scott and Scott blames it on me. It’s by far the most annoying feature of my life. I hate it but I love him.

Then there’s that. . . I always ask myself. Do I love Scott? Is this real? Am I ready for this? I was forced into this new lifestyle with no regard for my wants, my life, and my needs. Just one day, fate decides to come in and rip everything about my future away. Yet, though it sucks . . . it’s a good thing too because it saves me from my past.

I’ve got an exit from my mother, my sister, and my rotten stepfather. I would’ve given anything to leave that place. And Scott, low and behold, came in and swept me away on his magic carpet. He’s my hero and my villain.

The likelihood of me actually falling in love was zero to none. After my dad died, there was no way I wanted the hole in my heart to be filled. It would always belong to my father, but this bitch fate seemed to have other plans.

I’m not horrendously mad at the fact that I have Scott. I can’t say it enough I love him. I love him so much. But as much as he doesn’t really want me, neither do I want him. We’re just here, drawn by fate, forced in love.

They say that one day it will all get better. But if you ask me, we messed this up a long time ago.

#

“Hey. What you reading?” Exhibit A, half of what a perfect couple looks like. My best friend, Tracey, sits beside me in the chair. She mated with Scott’s cousin Fathen. I mean, Nathan.

“Not sure.” I hold up the book I was pretending to read. Every so often, I’d turn the page, forgoing my tale. “A book.” I place it back down in my lap and flip a page for good measure.

“Hey, babe.” Exhibit B, the other half of said perfect couple, Nathan. Tracey’s head over hills for him. I don’t know, yet, if their love is forced or real. But it looks real and it feels real. Nathan leans down and kisses Tracey’s cheek. He rises and flicks his eyes over to me and back at Tracey. “Hi, Glen,” he draws uninterested. As much as I don’t like him, he doesn’t like me. He’s the dominate, Alpha and Omega, hear me roar type guy. It’s over the top and extremely annoying.

“Hey, Nathan.” I grin.

“Babe, we’re going to meet up with a couple of Mulens, see if someone knows something about Roehl. Don’t leave the house.” That’s Nathan’s new thing―don’t leave the house. Since Tracey’s wanted by Roehl, his brother, we’re stuck in the house.

Nathan and Scott have the most dysfunctional family I’ve ever been a part of. I mean, besides the drugs, they’re as bad as mine. Apparently, Roehl is trying to steal Tracey from Nathan. She’s popular.

The perfect couple kiss and say their goodbyes as I wait for Scott to come in. I feel him before I see him. There’s this thing, like a mate detector that’s encased on your skin after you mate.

Glen. Oh, this feature was instilled in mating with an offspring from the Newcomb family. They are able to talk with you inside your head. I hate it.

Hey, Scott. 

Come here. I look for him, finding him standing in the hallway. He waves for me.

It’s odd, to hate the concept of something, but to love that something. We’re hugging before I realize it. Each embrace is our last. At least that’s how it feels. Like he knows one day, I’ll be without him. Or the other way around. I feel it too. I hold him tight, hurting from the release before we’ve let go.

“Every second with you is undeserved,” he mumbles near my ear. “One day I may not be able to hold you. Let’s take full advantage of the opportunities before they’re swept away from us like past seconds.”

I love you, I tell him. Come back unharmed. I don’t have the ability to heal him like I was supposed to get. Tracey told me about this amazing feature I was looking forward to using. But, nope, not me. I don’t get to save my mate’s life or heal him when he’s cut or broken.

Scott thinks it’s a good thing, because supposedly when your mate can do a better job at healing you, your own body slows its healing processing and forces you to be more reliant on your mate.

“I’ll see you when you get back.” I drawback. Apart of me wants to pander in his hug while the other wants to back out. Back out now before it gets too late. I get that feeling from Scott, this feeling like it’s better to not have mated because our ending may be less perfect than we hope.

It makes me want out. And I do.

Glen

“What’s your problem?!” I shoot at Scott. “You’re hot, and then you’re cold―like flipping a switch! I can’t take it anymore!”

“Well, look at the pot! You don’t notice that you do the same thing? I’m so tired of this. You don’t know what you do to me! You have no clue―No clue―what I go through for you! And why the hell are you wearing pearls?!”

Huh? That pacifies my anger, replacing it with confusion. Before I could contemplate any further on his issues with my choice of jewelry, Tracey flies in out of nowhere! I don’t have the chance to blink at her abrupt interruption of our argument before she yanks the pearls from my neck, throwing them across the room. They hit the hardwood floor, breaking away from the strands and rolling in circles.

Tracey gives Scott a look of intimidation and informs, “I’ll clean those up later. Glen and I are going to talk.”

Nathan appears and whisks Scott away, leaving my best friend and me to talk. 

“Spill,” I hurry her, not wasting a second as I try to find out what the hell is going on.

“The pearls,” she berates. “Remember what I mentioned about the pearls?”

I flick my eyes to the pile of pearls, now, string-less on the floor. “What, that they’re cute? If you hated it so much, you could’ve just asked me to remove them, not break the necklace.”

Tracey rolls her eyes. “No. They’re Sephlems. Pearls can hurt them. Have you ever heard Scott talk about something coated in pearl? Like, maybe, needles or something. Nathan’s term is pearl glazed needles. Ever heard something like that mentioned by Scott?”

I think, staring at her as if she’s lost her mind for breaking my necklace without reasonable cause. “Umm. Yeah. He says something like pearl glazed knife.”

She nods. “Right. So, they hate pearls. Though in the ball it’s harmless, they still hate it.”

I stand from the bed. “Okay, no pearls. So they’re hard as brick but scared of jewelry . . .? Woohoo, what a man!” I exaggerate.

She rises and heads over to pick up the loose pearls. I won’t tell her, or Scott, that they’re fake. “What were you two arguing about anyway?” she asks.

“Scott wants to teach me how to use this ability. I’m not interested. Don’t worry about it, Scott and I argue all the time. I’m still going to go out and try to work with him, but I don’t want to.” I shrug, heading to the dresser to find another necklace that doesn’t possess balls of shiny stones.

“For your ability, it’s better you understand it than not.”

“Okay, Tracey. Thanks, Bye.” I dismiss her. She’s all for Sephlems and they do no wrong in her eyes. I’d prefer to imagine none of them existed.

#

“Calm down and let me show you how it works.” Scott grabs my hand.

Wood scrapes the bottom of my legs as I scoot closer to him. “Sorry, I’m nervous.”

“It’s okay to be nervous. It’s a natural feeling.” He looks me over with a contemplative expression. “Now, where do you think it comes from? It feels like your chest?”

I touch my chest, remembering the burst that released from it nights ago. “It felt like the sun was warming the air in my lungs so much to the point I needed to burst.”

“It’s because you don’t know how to minimize it yet. And it’s new. Sometimes our strongest abilities hurt us. They make us sore because it takes so much of us to enable it.”

Distressed, I let my head fall forward. “I don’t want abilities,” I admit. “I’ve wanted for a long time to just be normal. To just have a normal family, to have a normal life.” I look into soft blue eyes. They’re supposed to change colors, Tracey told me. But Scott doesn’t let his turn. He tries to stay as human as possible. Which is really hard for him to do. “I’m sorry I don’t want this,” I admit once again as if it’s news to him.

He takes my hand. I watch his Adam’s apple jump in his neck. His chin follows, twitching twice as I hear, soft and diluted, I hate that she hates this. This makes being with her even more trying. Shit, it makes me hate it too. And truth is, I don’t want it either. But we’re here and we have to at least try to make this mating work. I love her. I have to love her. His own thoughts mingle through my head, mixing with my own. “Does that work?” Scott asks.

Without delay, I try to figure out what he’s asking about. “Yes,” I confirm whatever he wanted to know. “Scott, before we finish practicing or figuring out how this stuff works, which I don’t want to do, I’d prefer you to teach me how to make it go away. Anyway, can you tell me more about this bonding and mating and Sephlems and humans being with Sephlems and what’s wrong with us.”

“Glen. There is nothing wrong with us. We just rushed into things and our bodies—the bond—is moving faster than our hearts. But there’s nothing wrong with us.”

I shake my head in complete disagreement. “There has to be.”

He breathes deep and loud; it bounces off the walls of the treehouse. “See, as Sephlems, we mate. It’s just something that happens. We’re monogamous, born to have someone, but that someone is designated to us. We don’t get to choose what person we think will make for a good mate. It’s already written. Supposedly, it makes for a better life partner. But at times, you can mate too early. I’ll be honest and tell you, for a human, mating anywhere between fifteen and twenty-eight is too early. But we can’t control it. Shit just happens.”

“I don’t want shit to happen. I want to love you because I want to love you. I don’t want anything to force me to. And that’s how I feel. Like something is forcing me to love you. I’m very attracted to you. I don’t know how to explain what I feel for you, this connection, this . . . whatever it is. It’s almost like my soul, my heart, and my happiness has come alive. But just in the next second, it’s like it all dies. I’m so confused, Scott.”

He thinks, scraping his nails over his thin beard. “Me too, Glen. I love you, though. And I won’t let our confusion torture us. I promise we’ll get this right.”

I shrug, tired of lies. “So, what’s a Sephlem?”

He mocks my shrug. “We fit in the beast category of the creatures that were made at the beginning of time.”

“So not one ounce of you is human, but you can look human?”

“Right. See. It’s not always the way you look that makes you a beast, but what you can do.”

I nod. “And you’re a Burdened beast?”

He winces. “Yes.”

“You don’t like being Burdened?”

He licks his lips, seeming to contemplate his answer. “Never have and never will. Especially now, knowing if I were Sephlem, just a regular Sephlem, my mate would possibly come closer to loving me. Hell, maybe even like me.”

His words wash over me, hating me as much as I hate him. The beast of him.

“Can we leave, Glen? We’re not getting anywhere with this lesson. You seem like you don’t care much about learning how to control your new abilities anyway.”

My left brow hitches. “You’re giving up on me?”

“Of course not, but I’ve forced you to do enough. I’m not going to continue to do that. It’s enough you’re stuck with me forever, I don’t want to make life worse on you.” He turns his back to me, heading for the latch that leads out from the middle of the floor in our treehouse.

Stuck and force echo in my head.

Shouldn’t fate know when she’s placed the wrong two people together? I think fate has Scott and me wrong, no way she meant for us to be together, for us to torture each other. . .

**s

“How’d your lesson go?” Tracey asks from the other end of the phone.

I walk around my room, grabbing the rest of my clothes while Scott waits for me in the car. My mother’s house is empty and I suspect they’ve all went to some heroin convention. I know that no such thing exists, but where else would the three of them have traveled off together.

“Cey, I wasn’t into it. You know I love Scott with all of me. But I don’t want to be a Sephlem.”

“The bond isn’t getting easier for you?”

“No.”

“But you were mated and bound before Nathan and me.”

I grab more clothes from my drawers and stuff them in a duffle bag. “Tell me about it. I don’t think Scott and I are supposed to be mated.”

“I’ll ask Nathan about it and ask him to talk to Scott. See if they can find out what’s wrong.”

“Oh, I know what’s wrong. We hate each other!” The shakes come, quaking my skin, starting the heated oxygen in my chest. “I think I just figured out how that stupid pushes or gusts happen.”

‘What is it?”

“Anger. That’s what it’s related to.”

“Un-hun. It’s always related to emotion or will power. You have to find the source within yourself that triggers it and then, boom! You’re shooting fire from your hands.” She’s in a good mood today. Rare under the Roehl circumstances.

I zip the duffle bag and throw it over my shoulder. “Well, Cey. Since you know everything, how do I make it go away?”

“I’m not sure, Glen. Ask Scott if he can make it go away.”

“They can do that?” I ask, surprised Scott never mentioned this aspect of his ability.

“Not sure. But they can make everything else go away. Change our feelings and stuff. It never hurts to ask.”

“Un-hun. I’m heading back to the car. I’ll see you when we get back to Nathan’s house.”

“Oh. We’re not at Nathan’s house. We’re staying over at my house this week again. So I’ll see you tomorrow on the way to school.”

“K. Bye.”

My questions are ready to spew out the second I settle in the passenger seat of Scott’s car.

Before I’m able to close the door, Scott’s grabbing my neck, yanking me to him, placing his soft lips on mine. I fall victim to his kiss, letting a sensation I haven’t yet figured out a name for crawl over my body. It’s a good one, one that calls me to forget about the world, the worse of my life, and my past.

He licks my lips as he draws back, adjusting himself in the driver’s seat. I reach out, pulling my door closed, knowing there was something I wanted to say, but it’s evaded me . . . whatever it was, it must’ve not been as important as I thought.

Scott drives the route back to Nathan’s house. He’s full―full of love I hope. His face is flushed and happiness has made it pleasant.

“I love you, Scott. I love you and I’m ready to accept you no matter what you are.” The words fall from my lips like it’s something I’ve always wanted to say. Though I know it’s not, I’ve never felt this way before. But oddly, I do now. I’m willing and wanting to accept Scott under any circumstance. I just hope he doesn’t try to kill me . . . again.

Glen

I don’t think you understand how important this is, Glen. I have to go.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, Scott. Family first. By the way, talk to me out loud.

He shakes his head. No. You hear me more clearly when I’m directly in your mind. 

“There must be some kind of laws against your boyfriend being able to speak to you inside your head. There also has to be a law for your boyfriend being able to see your thoughts. It’s called, The Mate Must Provide Privacy Law. Look it up, it’s in y’alls book of Sephlem musts.”

Scott laughs. “I’ll work on that.”

“Work on it now and don’t go. I need you here to help me manage this stuff.” I pull down the collar of my shirt, revealing the new lightning bolt that now rests between my breasts. It’s almost like a lightning bolt, but its edges are curved. “Can you make this thing go away? The last thing I need is people asking questions.”

He grabs my waist, drawing me nearer. “Who’s going to be seeing between your tits anyway?”

“I will. I don’t want this there. I hate body markings.” Scott pulls me to the bed, tugging my shirt over my head. “It’s like your claiming on me.”

“That snowflake that pops up when you’re mad is my claim on you. It marks you as mine and no one else’s.” He seizes a kiss, sending shivers over my skin. “Unless you want to be someone else’s and in that case, I’ll go take a pearl blade to my heart.”

I brush my fingers through his hair that’s swaying as he moves. “I don’t want anyone but you. Promise.”

He dips down, easing between my breasts, tongue first.

I pinch his arm. “You’re supposed to be helping me, not seducing me.”

He chuckles. “I mean, Snow. Of all the places one of these things could pop up. It pops up here.” He dives in, words becoming muffled. “Between these grapefruits.”

I giggle, ignoring the snow he’s called me. I don’t like that name. It represents his claim, and I don’t want to be claimed, I don’t want to be property.

Iced breath chills my skin; it tingles as Scott kisses me. It’s all heightening, a baring love wrapped in lust, slowly dizzying my mindset. It takes me from a large room that we’ve taken here in Nathan’s house to my treehouse where only, now, he and I can spin the Earth, ignite the sun, and impel the universe.

Milliseconds draw by as we beckon to morning love. The sun’s rising, blazing our room in burnt orange and blood lust pink. Our blood lust, love lust, for each other quickens our breaths to the brink of hyperventilation, to the core of pleasure, the utter existence of our beings.

#

“Glen, wake up. You need to get ready for school.” Scott nudges me.

“We,” I correct, stretching and sitting up.

He gets out of bed. “I have to go, Glen. It will be for a few days but I’m coming back.”

“You asshole!” I jump from the bed but he’s gone before my feet hit the floor. “You have to come back, Scott! And when you do, I’m going to set it off!” I yell. “Just wait until you have to tell me goodbye, Scott Fallon,” I mumble, grabbing my towel for a shower. “You’re going to wish you were a regular human.”

My shower’s quick. Nathan and Tracey will be here shortly and the four of us will ride to school.

“Let’s go, Glen,” Scott calls.

I rush to the door, knowing Scott’s M.O. . . Run!

He’s gone when I open the door. Sucker. Our room is in the back of the house, far from the front door.

Nathan meets me in the hallway that passes the living room, which leads to the front door. “What?” Suspicious activity from Nathan is a sure sign Scott is up to something.

“Before you go on a Scott hunt, I just want you to know that you’re already running late for school and if you kill Scott, you’ll miss him.” He folds his arms in front of his chest; taking his ‘I’ve said my piece’ stance.

I feel my face slowly twisting into a disgusted expression. “You annoy me,” I let slide past my lips, not having a problem about letting my true feelings be known. Everyone tiptoes around Nathan like he’s some great god who can make you jump, just because he says jump. Well, not me.

A soft rise subjects the corner of his mouth to a smirk. “I’m not that big a fan of yours either.”

“I’ve done nothing to you. You’ve stolen my best friend, you’re undesirably my boyfriend’s best friend and cousin, and you’re always around.” I’ve never liked the hardness of my voice but talking to Nathan, I like the heaviness that lingers on my words, making them firm and meaningful.

“Lucky for you, Glen. You’re my cousin’s mate and my mate’s friend. Or you would’ve gotten your secret death wish long ago. Considering you tried to kill her, and you confuse the hell out of my cousin.” His arms fall to his sides. “And. . . I know your secrets. All of them.”

My entire right side twitches; eye, cheek, arm, my leg even shakes. “What secret?”

Almost unnoticeable, yet clear on Nathan’s always-sobered face, a malevolent ratification sets in his eyes. “Haha . . .” he draws, turning away.

I snatch his arm; it’s like a rock in my hand. He turns back, senses blaring with his annoyance of our contact. “You tell me what you think you know,” I demand.

“What I think I know . . . ? Are you sure, you want to remember what you’ve tried to make yourself forget? What you hide from yourself and your mate?”

I almost snarl my next words. “What is it, Nathan.” I despise Nathan and his daunting way of intimidation.

He steps closer and lowers his voice to but a whisper. “You’re not just half-Sephlem because of my cousin. But your father was a Sephlem. Oh, and how you loved him,” he mocks as if it’s a lie.

“I did love my father.” I spit, in a whisper as low as his.

His head cocks to the right as his eyes lower to a devilish squint. “Was it all rainbows and snowflakes, Glen? As I know it, and you know, I know it. Your father took part in an ass-load of unusual activities. You being here is by no mistake, you mating with Scott is by far no coincidence. You can act as if you hate him because you don’t want to be a Sephlem, you don’t want the marking, or you hate me. But we all know the truth. You were already part Sephlem; you’re father held that secret from everyone but you. You’re fooling everyone but me, Glen.”

“I’m not fooling anyone, Nathan. And you better keep your mouth shut.” My threat is thick, but Nathan’s unaffected.

An unnerving chuckle rattles my nerves. He looks off to his left, and then back. “We’ll talk later. I’m quite interested in knowing your side of the story, seeing if I’m wrong about Dean Richards.”

“No. What you’re interested in is feeding off my lies, my pain in remembering my father and his death. You want to drain me like the demon you are,” I accuse, voice never going up an octave.

He shrugs a shoulder. “Mine sounds less. . .” He thinks. “Disgusting. But yes, I’m sure you hold some secrets that will get that heart pumping. And no, I would never feed off the mate of another. I have my own mate to taste. But, Scott . . . I’m sure he’d enjoy it. Hell, you might too. . .” This time, when he turns his back on me, I let him go.

By the way, Glen. Nathan’s voice creeps in my head, the same whisper as before. You have a dude’s name.

He’s a dick and deserves for someone to stab him in his back when he isn’t looking.

“Don’t get too hasty, Snowflake. That lightning bolt might strike if you’re not careful. Wouldn’t want to kill Scott . . . Or would you?”

Glen

It was eight months after my thirteenth birthday. A thin line showed up on my chest. I kept it quiet, unsure what Mom would think, and I wouldn’t dare tell my sister anything. Nothing in health class discussed dark lines popping up between your breast and I assumed it wasn’t natural. As I got older, the line started to take a shape, like a bolt of lightning.

A year following, I began to have the ability to control the marking. It was the weirdest thing, but I was happy about being able to make it disappear.

Four months after my comfort sank in; I walked in on my dad. He’d sliced his wrists with a glazing razor. I rushed to him, trying to catch him as he fell over onto the tub. “Dad,” I called, choking on the sob that blocked my airways.

“Glen,” Dad rasped. “A real father, a real man, a real being holds no lies. They tell all truths considerably to those they love. Without truths, there is no love. There’s no consideration for the one’s feeling in which will fall victim to the lies, the pain, and the foreseeing of strife one single man can inflict on his family.” He grabbed my hand. “On his daughter.”

“What are you talking about? What lies? What truths?” I ask, wiping a tear from his left eye.

Blood from his wrist drained into the tub, painting its bottom in rose peddle red. The smeared, glazed razor sat on the rug, beneath the sink. Light from the ceiling caused all the blood to shine and drill a hole in my chest.

“Dad, why would you do this to yourself?”

He had given me a look like the answer should’ve been obvious. And I wondered if I should’ve known, if there was something I’d missed, an argument between him and my mother, something he might have mentioned happened on the job, maybe he’d been depressed and I never acknowledged it. What could’ve been so bad that it caused him to want to kill himself?

I waited, waited for him to tell me what and why. But he only stared at me. He only looked at me with dark empty eyes that I perceived as being one color until they changed; a bright pink washed the irises of his eyes.

“Sephlems are bad news. If you ever hear the name, ever meet the beast, flee, Glen. Never get involved with a Sephlem. You’ll think you can’t control it, they will make you think you can’t control it, but you can. You can fight it, maybe not beat it, but death is better than being mated. For you, my daughter, death is better than being mated to a Sephlem . . . any of its kind.”

“What . . .? What’s a Sephlem? What are you talking about? What does that have to do with you doing this to yourself?”

The lump in his throat jumps. “I am Sephlem. I’d hoped you wouldn’t get the curse.”

“Curse?”

“Curse, the bloodline of a Sephlem, but a prophecy has confirmed you have the Sephlem gene. Listen closely. I didn’t mean for you to see me this way. But since you’re here, it must be meant for me to tell you.” I waited for him to gather his words. They were drawn out, weak and deep. Tired and raspy. Blood dripped from his arm and didn’t give. He didn’t mind the life was slowly draining from him. But I did.

“Dad, you have to let me take you to the hospital. You have to let me help you. This talk can wait.” I tried to lift him, but he was too heavy. “Come on,” I struggled.

“No, Glen.” He held me still, shoving my arm away from him. “Listen before I don’t have enough energy to tell. Sephlems were bred beast, placed upon the earth along with the other creatures of the world, in the first six days of creation. They started out as quiet creatures, looking as the humans with small things, which if revealed, would set them apart. That all changed when one demon dabbled in lust. Most Sephlems live decent lives, but one type, Burdened, can be a danger to the world. You’ll never know a Burdened Sephlem from the rest if they don’t want you to know. So flee them all if you ever find out.”

I shook my head, uncaring about the beasts Dad was so destined to make my enemy. “I don’t care. Tell me how to help you. Let me help you.”

Weakly, he shook his head. “For your life, I gave mine.” Tears filled his eyes. “Forgive me, Glen. When I was a young man, I did something very vile, promising you to a malevolent witch. I was a young human man, dying from a deadly disease no doctor had a fix for. I wanted life, I wanted to live, I wanted to heal and not be conflicted by my body fighting against me. I wanted the health I’d had when I was a child. All magic comes with a price, all beings—beasts or humans—want something in place of a favor. Nothing in this world is free. And to this witch, she requested my firstborn and she’d give me what I asked with a blessing of being a Sephlem. I thought nothing of it, promised her, and I was shortly healed. I breathed clearer. I stood on my own. The woman came for you, ten years ago. I swore on my life that she wouldn’t lay a finger on you. I wouldn’t let anyone lay a finger on you. Death came upon the witch by my hands. I’d never before taken a life, but I wasn’t going to give up my only child, my baby girl.” He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head. “The witch was under the protection of a very powerful man. I can’t protect us from him, and he doesn’t know you exist. When the witch changed me, I was marked as traceable. In order to keep you safe, I must go. Trust me. Now, hand me the razor and let me settle in the tub. Leave and don’t look back, never tell anyone what I’ve told you, never give way to a Sephlem, and forever keep my promise. This is the only way to keep you safe or we will all die and you’ll never have the life I wanted for you. Be strong and live your life the way you want.”

“None of this is making sense,” I admitted. “I don’t want to lose you, you’re all I have.”

“Leave me!” he yelled, pushing me away. “Go to your mother’s house and never tell what I’ve told you, never admit to being a beast, and try your hardest to never mate with a Sephlem! Play dumb if you must, but stay away from those beasts!”

It was a night I’ve lived the last six years of my life trying to forget. Why I loved and hated my father after he died. I didn’t understand it then and I don’t understand it now. But I’ve mated with a Sephlem, what Dad warned me against.

It’s unavoidable. . . I wonder if Dad knew that. I’ve tried to fight it and you can’t. Your heart will love who your heart wants to love.

If I ignore the fact that Scott is a Sephlem, it will be okay. I won’t be breaking any promises. But I’ve taken notice that I can’t live without him. It hurts when I’m not around him. My entire body aches with a pain I can’t bear. This mating thing is sealed solid. You can’t choose to mate, once fate has her fangs sunk deep into you, your destiny to be mated to a Burdened Sephlem is undoable. You’re mated to death for life.

#

I twist, throwing a punch in Scott’s face. “I hate you,” I growl.

He grabs me, yanking me to him, trying to force me still.

“No.” I waggle around. “You know it’s going to hurt for you to be gone for days, Scott. You know it! Why would you want to hurt me?”

“Glen, you should be strong enough to take this now.”

I shake him off me, shoving him against his chest. “You’re going straight to hell, Scott.” I cross my arms. “I’m not leaving; I’m going to go with you.”

“Get in the car and go to school, Glen. I’ll be back before you know it.”

Scott wrestles with me over getting in the car. I’m strapped in with the door slamming in my face before I can get out another word.

Damn Sephlem speed and strength.

Glen

The only thing I have to prove—to reveal—I am a small portion of Sephlem is this stupid bolt on my chest. Nothing else. Now, I have some type of weapon in my chest, it can shoot out, fast as lightning. But there’s nothing else. I started letting my bolt show after I accepted Scott. It’s seamless. But, I won’t tell him that small secret Dad told me. I’ve discovered what it takes to block things off from him, how to hide certain thoughts and memories. It helps keep my secrets.

With Scott gone, however, I’m in control of nothing. I’m weak and hazy.

“Glen, wake up.” There’s familiarity in the voice. My head’s spinning, I’m nauseated, and can’t move my body. “Come on, Glen,” Tracey encourages. Flashing spots have taken place before my eyes. “Just another day and Scott will be back to help with the pain.”

My words garble, not forming a coherent sentence. I want Scott back and I want him back now. My nights are a freezing winter, biting my skin as I sleep, and my days are born from the sun, drying out my lungs. Both night and day, I suffocate, unable to seize a relieving breath without him.

At least, it feels that way. It’s never been this hard to breathe.

The past two school days have been dragging, and Nathan’s bed is far more comfortable than the pallet I laid on at Tracey’s house. I snuggle close to Olar, sure that his relation to Scott will provide me with some kind of relief.

It’s a bigger relief than I thought. The pain is gone when I wake. But the air is sweeter. “Scott?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about your dad?”

I gasp. Nathan and his big mouth.

“Nathan didn’t tell me. You did.” He winces. “Well, sort of. You dreamt it.”

I sit up against the headboard of our bed, admiring our room. It’s an upscale from my old room and Scott’s room at his house, and its soft gray walls are somewhat calming. “I tried, Scott. I tried to hate you but at the same time love you. I wanted to hate you for my father but love you for you.”

“He was right about Burdened Sephlems being the worst of our kind, and also right about you needing to avoid us. But we’re mated now, there’s nothing you can do about that. Nothing. And all you did was hurt yourself. My being away from you should be much easier on you now. But because we both fought this, we both tried to go against our destiny; we are both guilty of rejection.” He wraps his arm around my shoulder, pulling my head against his. “I don’t blame you and I understand why you did it, you’re not wanting me is just as my not wanting you. So let me be the first of us to say I’m sorry.”

“Me too. I love you, but it’s been required of me to hate Sephlems.”

“Because you hate your dad.”

“I don’t hate him, but I was slightly disappointed. I wanted him to find another way to run from whatever, or whoever he was running from.”

“Your father was running from, or rather trying to avoid, the oncoming of a man named Lunis. Our family isn’t as worried about him, but a lot of humans and beasts alike fear him.” Scott rubs my shoulder. “Sorry, your father got involved with that evil.”

I swallow hard, taking down the thousand and one questions warming my tongue. They’ll remain questions, with no answers as the only person who can answer them is my father and I’ll never see him again. “I watched.”

“I know. Don’t let it eat you away, Glen. He did what he thought was best for you. Don’t punish him for it.”

I throw my head against the headboard as despair claws its way into my swollen heart.

Scott hugs me and kisses my head. “It’ll be okay. You have me now; I’ll make sure I make up for the love you’re missing from him.”

Thundering footsteps charge in the direction of our room.

“Scott!” Olar’s voice shouts over the oncoming steps.

Bursting through the door, a man, a troll . . . A huge, ugly troll storms into the room.

I scream.

Scott jumps from the bed and I cower closer to the headboard, grabbing the pillow to block me. The huge, bear-sized troll crosses the floor headed for me. I scream again, scrambling off the bed, running from the drooling monster. He snatches my leg, yanking me back on the bed.

Another scream blares from my throat as the over-sized monster’s downcast gaze violates me.

“Scott! Get him off me! Please!” I cry.

“Tasty girl,” the monster croons.

I block my face from his drooling slob. A rough wind blows over me. Freed from the beast, I jump from the bed racing over to the door where Tracey’s standing. With a look, she makes sure I’m okay and I nod.

A night of hell followed my next breath. I’ve never taken pleasure in watching people fight, seeing tethered body parts, and spilled blood sets me on a road to Barfville.

Scott . . . is a monster. With the face of an animal; a snout and more than fifty shredder sharp teeth . . . my stomach drops with fear and disgust. However, I know it’s inevitable us being together until maybe I can find a way to break it . . . I never want to see him that way again.

Glen

“Glen, are you going to introduce me to your mother and stepfather one day?” Scott dresses in a collared button-down, preparing for tonight’s dinner.

I fluff my curled hair. The curls are too tight and make my hair look big. “No. My mother doesn’t deserve to meet you. And if I was to make arrangements for you two to meet, I wouldn’t plan some big dinner like this. I hope they know Mr. Warren is going to ruin this grand feast tonight.”

“Yes. I bet my last dollar Nathan and Tracey will come prepared for their night to be ruined.” He joins me in fluffing my hair. Of course, he’s doing it all wrong. But Scott and I fight about enough, this isn’t quite worth the headache. Plus, I’ll fix it later.

He buries his face in my curls. “Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

My cheeks rise, accommodating the smile that’s stolen the annoyed expression I once had about this dinner. “No,” I lie. “You’ve never told me how beautiful I am.”

He whips me around and I lean against the bathroom sink. “Your face happens to be filled with beauty marks, I suppose one covered with such beauty, she doesn’t need to be told.”

“Ha-ha. . .”

With a soft satisfaction settled just at the edges of his blue eyes, he utters, “You are beautiful.”

“Thank you.” I twist around, checking out our reflection. We complement each other. Two normal humans that look like they belong together. I guess that’s how it’s supposed to be, we’re supposed to look nice together because we belong together.

Scott and I smile.

“I want happiness, Scott. The happiness we see in Tracey and Nathan and in your mother and father. I want to be wanted and want to continue to want you. I want comfort. Tracey talks about this comforting feeling that Nathan gives her just by him walking in a room she’s in or by his touch. I want to touch you and feel that. I don’t want the thick smog that rests between us. It puts up an invisible barrier between us because there’s something within us that doesn’t match. I want us to be perfect.”

He takes my hand, and though it drives me wild to feel his graze . . . it’s odd. It feels like it belongs but yet, doesn’t. I crave it, yet despise it.

#

What once was fear alters into a stabled comfort as this stranger whisks me away. I had cried for release, for Scott to save me when our intruder kidnapped me, but no one helped.

It seems, the longer I sit with this man, the less I know about who I am, or care.

“I am Monahan. Calm down. It’s okay. I’m not going to hurt you.” The stranger promises my safety as he drops his hand from covering my mouth. “Please don’t scream.”

I assure my silence with a nod.

“Hi.” He muddles a soft smile. It’s inviting . . . trusting.

I share it. “Hi.”

“I’m a Sephlem, foreign to humans. You’ll come to find, I am very different from those you’ve come to know. Soon, it won’t hurt when I touch you. You’ll have to say it’s okay, be comfortable with me touching you, and that shock will go away. Whenever you’re ready, you can touch me instead, and once you’ve grown comfortable and ready, I’ll try.”

I rub my hands over my arms. Moments ago, they were consumed with pain from constant shocks resulting from his touch. But this man is nice, although he isn’t as attractive as I’d like him to be. I flick my eyes from his lingering hands, placed on his knees, to his smoothly sculpted face. White brows brighten his sharp, green-blue eyes, and accommodate his bowl-cut hair. It’s extremely thin.

Yet, even though he isn’t the most attractive guy I’ve laid my eyes on, he’s sweet and truthful, and that’s what I want. Someone kind and trustworthy.

I raise my hand to his jean-clad knee and just barely grazes his fingers with the tip of mine. They brush over his nails without pain.

“You’re safe here. If anyone tries to come after you, I’ll protect you. Do you remember your name?”

I think, looking off to my left. “Yes. Glen.”

“Wonderful,” he serenades. “You’re welcome to stay here with me. If I may be honest with you, you were another’s, who is no longer important, but if you don’t mind we can move forward in being bound.”

I cringe, recognition clouding my mind with remorse for that word. I shake my head.

“You won’t be obligated to me,” he’s quick to persuade. “I won’t will you to do anything beyond your own wants. I’ll wait for you to be ready. I’ll be patient. We’ll have all the time in the world. Just say you’ll stay with me, say you’ll wait with me and I’ll beckon to your every call, your every desire, and your every need. I promise.” Undertaking honey drips from his lips, falling onto my cracked heart that desires the sweet sticky substance to seal its broken pieces.

It’s what I’ve always wanted to hear. Someone who was willing to give me what I wanted, who cared about what I needed, and who was willing to hold off or hold back and wait on me. Someone who would consider my feelings and not kill himself for me, or hold back the truth from me for me. Instead, this stranger provides a relying promise. A strong sincerity envelopes his eyes and I know I can trust him.

“I’m glad you’re okay with this,” he states, contented.

“Shouldn’t I be?”

No quicker than his brows furrow, they soften. “You should be comfortable. I want you to be. Do you recall where you’ve come from?”

I ponder his question, his curious look, and the confused flare in his eyes. I recall being swept away by this man. He held me close to his chest as he ran us far off to a place not familiar to me. And here, I sit upon his bed in a room not my own, in the surroundings of two other men of whom I don’t know. And yet . . . I sit comfortably.

“We can leave the past in the past and focus on our future.”

A nod. “I agree,” he says, lifting me from where I sit and setting me upon his lap. “You’re so . . . willing,” he mentions, stroking my hair.

His statement insults me. Am I doing something wrong? Should I not be willing to give this loving young man a chance to woo me? “I don’t understand.”

We rise and I follow him out of the room, through this home, and outside into the night. Holding my waist, he dips his head beside mine and whispers in my ear. “There is nothing wrong with you being willing to provide me the opportunity to break your bond with your mate. I’m more than ready to take you and have you as my own. Your taking my hand and saying aloud, I will leave the side of Scott and bestow a destiny with Monahan, will open the doorway for you to see the reality of your mating, your mate, your future, and the past you once held. It will make way for you to have feelings for another, and allow me the opportunity to mend your broken heart.” His hands slide over my stomach and up to my chest, placing over my heart. “This is what you need, Glen. Someone to hold your heart, to warm it, mend it, and never let anyone come against it. I’ll do that for you, my love.”

The moonlight soaks us in its glaze as we stand, mountainside, fronts to a sea of treetops.

“Hold out your arms and put your trust in me.” He clasps his arms around my waist and I do as he asks, leaning forward just barely over the edge. Wind rushes against me, assisting his hold, a counter effect against the gravity. The heavy scent of rain rests in its chilled breeze. And I fly . . . as the wind takes me away, soaking my feathers in its weightlessness, in its invisibility, in its strength. I’m free.

“I will leave the side of Scott and bestow a destiny with Monahan.”

Glen

Corruption, it should be an outrage. None of it makes sense. This handsome young man, battles my new lover, my promise keeper who I thought I had feelings of love for. But as I stand here, beside this girl who nodded as confirmation that we were friends. . . I feel everything for this boy.

His collar-length hair, tousled from a fight with my lover. His gorgeous deep blue eyes, speak enchantments to my heart. His broad structure and that jawline buzz my body. I desire him, the effect he has on me is questionable. There has to be something wrong.

This must be what Monahan was warning me about.

“No one is forcing Glen to be here!” my lover shouts. “She’s here by her own free will. Come here, Glen. Tell them.”

I cross the room to Monahan, holding this girl by her neck because she’s tried to come against us. Betrayal. Just like what Monahan warned me of. She’s one of the people who will come for me, as is the three men she came with.

“Glen, please . . .”

If my heart were a person, she’d clutch onto herself, squeezing as tight as her strength would allow, and fall onto the floor. Slowly, as she lay hunched over in the fetal position, she’d crumble to pieces until she disintegrated into ashes. Ashes that would blow away with the wind.

That’s the torture my heart feels hearing Scott’s plea.

I’m so confused. I know him, but I don’t. I want Monahan but then I don’t. Scott, so familiar yet a stranger, I love him but . . . I don’t.

Scott begs.

Monahan rubs my shoulder.

A million and one thoughts race through my mind; things I’ve forgotten, memories of Scott and me, even Monahan and me. I don’t know what has come against me that had made me forget Scott, what made me reconsider the concept of being bound and mated, what brought me to considering Monahan . . .

My decisions are elusive. Determining Scott or Monahan, I don’t understand why there’s the requirement of a choice. Why must I choose between these two beasts?

Scott stands before me, begging me to leave my post and return to his side. Monahan, on the other hand, encourages me to stay with a simple tap against my hip.

It all hurts . . . the confusion. I’ve never felt so crossed, so lost, so controlled. . .

Rain splashes against my face. I’ve somehow transferred from the upper level of Monahan’s house to the side of the mountain. I can’t recall how long I’ve been here, but for the short time I was consumed by the stranger, I’ve been freer than I’ve been in months. Especially with me mated to Scott. I don’t know if I’m happy. But I was happy here. It’s possible I want the relief from not being with Scott. But I love Scott. I love Scott with all my heart. Though, I don’t know why I love Scott. I don’t know why I want Monahan.

I wince. Conflicted, I search for a release, an out to these feelings that restrain me from breathing. I’m forced to want them both, I’m forced to be everywhere but where I want to be.

Tracey, my one friend, before Nathan stole her . . . She looks at me with such concern, so much worry. It’s because of Scott that I’ve tried to kill her. They don’t know I know. Everyone thinks I’m some ditz walking around with her head in the clouds. But I know! Scott tried to kill me; he’s done so more than once. He hates me. They all hate me.

Monahan has shown me the truth. His interfering in my bond brings forth what I’ve been blind to. But not anymore. And here he is, doesn’t know me, doesn’t know where I’ve come from but will tell me he can be trusted.

Who on this planet Earth can be trusted?!

My father, of all people, I thought could. But as I’ve been wrong before, again I am wrong. Again, I am lost. Again, I am gone, seeking for an out from this tethered world.

And the only out I see is diving into the sea of trees. So, I dive and pray to finally be released.

#

“I. . . caught you,” Scott whispers, shocked and surprised. “It must not be true.”

He did catch me. So stupid . . .

“Why is it stupid for me to not want to lose you? To want to save you?”

“Because, Scott. You don’t truly care about not losing me. You care about losing yourself. If I die, you die. Don’t think I don’t know that. I know a lot more than you think. You saved me only to keep yourself from dying.” I jump to my feet, shoving Scott from above me. I’m soaking wet and covered in grass and leaves. “Why’d you save me? Why couldn’t you just let me go?” I cry. “Why do you want us to suffer and suffer and suffer more!?” I’m storming off though the trees, searching for a trail that will lead me away from Scott.

I’m trying to save us, to keep us from further hurting each other.

Scott grabs my arm, twisting me around. “I didn’t jump off a mountain, after you, to save myself. I didn’t know if I’d catch you. I had no idea if we’d make it. I jumped with you; I jumped and had no idea if either of us would survive. But I did because, even if I couldn’t catch you, there is no way I would live without you. If you went splat . . . I’m going splat with you,” he protests. “I have the most bizarre dreams, Glen. One that showed there was no way for us to make it. But catching you, something almost impossible, proves they’re wrong. We can work on this, we truly were meant to be together and survive.” A revitalized smile lightens his sorrowed face. The optimism he’d spoken with in the past has diminished and I can hear the joy this realization has provided him.

But none of that matters anymore. “Can we go?” I’ve had my own realization.

Glen

Glen, please come back. I’m sorry. I swear I’ll never hurt you again. It was a fluke, but I get it now. I know how to control it now. I was confused before, I was fighting it. You’re right, I hated you but I hated me too. I didn’t want to be with you because you discarded me and ultimately I thought there was no way that we’d survive, fault of my own. But you’ve shown me, I’ve seen the proof that we can make it. That we can survive. Just give me a second chance. I’ll make it up to you, I promise. 

Scott, I’m not telling you no. I’m just saying not right now. I need a break from all this, I need some time to think. To figure this all out. 

What’s there to figure out? You’re meant to be with me. Monahan just got in your head and mixed things up for you, he’s made you believe something that’s false. There’s no way you’d be experiencing this had it not been for him. 

Yes, I would, Scott. We’ve both been feeling it. We’ve both battled with if our love is real and if we belong together. 

I’ve figured out what the problem is. It’s not—

Stop, Scott. I need to go. Tracey is coming. 

“Are you okay?” Tracey asks, pushing the door closed to her room.

“Tracey, I’ve been your friend for years. And at the time when I needed you the most, you turned your back on me and chose to stand by Nathan. The only thing I want to hear from you is sorry. And if you’re not going to start with that, don’t talk to me at all.”

She settles beside me on the floor. I avoid looking at her because if I do, she’ll see my hate for her. “Glen, I don’t want to hurt you. But I’m not going to apologize for what I said. You don’t belong with Monahan, you belong with Scott, and if your heart beating in Scott’s chest isn’t proof enough, you’re lost.”

“What makes you think my heart beats in Scott’s chest? What proof do you have that we’re mated.”

She crosses her legs out in front of her. She doesn’t know my secrets about my father being a Sephlem. If Nathan had told her, she’d mention it. But she’s as clueless as I want her to be.

“I just know, Glen. From the looks you give him, from the visual pain you suffered through when he was gone, from the constant call of his name as you sleep. You moan his name through the night, you cry for him. Not Monahan. Scott.”

“You don’t know anything.” I stand, headed for the bathroom. “I’m not going to school today. I promise I’m not leaving, but I can’t see Scott in all my classes or feel him right now. There’s a lot I need to figure out and I can’t do that with him around. Or you, trying to convince me,” I conclude, pulling her door closed behind me.

When I finally hear Tracey leave, I cut on the hot water for the shower and settle on the floor. The sound from the patter of the rain on the tub’s floor quiets the irritation and the steam filling the bathroom calms my nerves.

I suck it in, letting it wash my insides and relieve the pain. This silence is what I need, a moment to myself where I can think without someone shoving Scott in my face.

Monahan takes precedence over all my other thoughts. I’d love to see him. I miss him. Had it not been for Scott, Nathan, and Tracey I could see him. But they’ve killed the one person who I could trust and be completely happy with.

There’s no way I’m taking this. I grab a bag, throwing some clothes in it. “I’m out. I’m sorry, Tracey. Sorry, Scott. But I’m not staying here and taking this.”

A thought of regret pinches my wrist as I take the knob of the front door in my hand. It eases away as I turn the knob and yank open the door.

“Hello,” he sings. “Where you headed?”

I roll my eyes. “Figures you’d show up.”

Nathan leans against the door panel. “Go put the bag down. Let’s talk.”

“What makes you think I want to talk to you of all people?”

He shrugs. “You’ve got no one else to talk to. Figure I’ll tell you a little something, you’ll tell me a little something. And we’ll settle this beef.”

I shake my head, turning the corners of my mouth down. “No beef here. I just hate you.”

He nods toward his car. “Come on, Glen. We have a long life together when you come to your senses and I think it’ll be a lot better if we’d learn to get along now. Plus, there’s something you oughta know about your dad. It might help you understand a few things.”

“We’ll talk. But I’m taking my bag with me.”

“So be it.” He steps aside.

We’re quiet as we sit and wait for the other to speak first. He’s driven, been driving for a while and though I hate Nathan, I trust him.

“Let me show you something,” he says, getting out of the car.

I follow him, headed out toward a pond in the middle of nowhere. “Drowning me won’t get you anywhere.”

“Shut up, Glen. You know, your problem isn’t you being a hidden Sephlem, or your father, or even Scott. Your problem is you. You get in your own way. I don’t know what treadmill that mouse in your brain runs on, but it’s about time you cranked up the speed.” He yields when he makes it to the pond’s edge. “You’re mated. Do you understand what that means?” He waves me forward. “You have one, only one person designated for you to be with, and you’re dedicated to that one person for the rest of your life. Yes, the concept of it sucks. Being young, and claimed by a man you don’t fully understand, having no opportunity to experience your adult life with whomever you want because you were claimed at such a young age. . .” As I make it to his side, he takes my hand and pulls me down to sit in the water with him. “But it’s not at all as bad as it seems. You and my cousin aren’t a mistake as he and you try to make it seem. He doesn’t make mistakes.”

“I guess Tracey taught you that?”

“Doesn’t matter. Scott wouldn’t have taken on your heart if it weren’t meant to happen. His life wouldn’t be in your hands if you weren’t meant to hold it. The pond that we’re sitting in allows you to empty your mind and see yourself. That’s what you need to do. You need to see who you are, what you need, what you’re capable of. You need to relieve yourself of everything else you think will better you, and focus on what you need.” He points. “Now, go deeper, if you’re not afraid of water, dip beneath it and empty your mind.”

I look back and forth at the water and Nathan. “Why on Earth would I do anything you say?”

“Want to know why your father thought it was best to kill himself instead of taking care of you?”

I wince. “What do you think you know about my father?”

“Just get in the water. Once you have a clearer head, we’ll talk.”

I look away from him, toward the trees sitting on the opposite side of the pond. “I don’t want to forget Monahan.”

“It won’t make you forget him; it will only allow you to see things clearer. It will clear up your confusion without the interference of Scott or Monahan influencing you to feel a certain way, to choose either of them without your acceptance.”

I consider that. That’s the problem I have, everyone wants me to feel the way they want me to feel. No one cares about what Glen wants or what Glen needs. And of all people who I’d think would care, it definitely was not Nathan. He’s the last person I suspected would want to help me.

Nathan offers an encouraging smile. Funny, the last expression I expect to cross Nathan’s face is a smile, but it looks so natural like it belongs there. “You look nice when you smile,” I compliment.

He nods, looking off at the pond. “It feels good too. Tracey really turned my life around. I was in denial in the very beginning, but it didn’t take much to change my mind. I hate it has to be this big deal about claiming her an I try not to be all dominate and shit, but I can’t help it. It just comes out sometimes. Anyway, today isn’t about me, it’s about you and we only have a small time before Scott and Tracey get out of school so let’s get the show on the road. Wouldn’t want them to find out we were together and they think we’re friends or something.”

“Secrets . . . ?”

“You and I both live by them.” He props up his knees and begins skipping rocks across the pond. “Any day now.”

I scoot into the pond and take a deep breath before I emerge in the water. It’s not long before memories flash through my mind. My father, admitting being Sephlem, turned by some witch, based upon his request. Then Scott, admitting to loving me but being forced into mating. And Monahan suggested my revulsion of Scott and how, instead, I should be with him. The bleak look in each of their eyes reflects my disapproval, my rejection. However, in Scott’s eyes . . . there’s something else. Something smoldering, enchanting, maybe even hypnotic. But then at the same time, there’s fear. I have to study it long, stare into his eyes as if they were a portrait to understand why he looks at me with so much fear. It’s not until he blinks and his head falls that I realize it’s the fear of losing me.

My father, his eyes stick with resentment. It doesn’t take me long to understand where his expression ascends from. It’s clear to me the decisions he made are regrets. The stern look in his eyes shows he misses me, and I can feel it reflecting mine. I forgive him . . . for thinking he needed to turn to satanic mischief, for thinking the only way to save me was to kill himself. For his warning me against mating with Sephlems and making me hate my mate before he was even my mate. Because all in all, whether the blood of a Sephlem ran through my veins or not, it was meant for me to mate with Scott. No matter what would’ve happened, I would be with Scott and I now understand that. You can’t change fate; you can’t adjust it or make it go your way. You have to take the hand you’re dealt or you’ll do nothing but make your life worse. That leads me to Monahan.

I crave a touch by him, a simple whisper in my ear, to be in the same room as him. Yet, I know it’s wrong. But my attraction toward him, I can’t help. It’s one I don’t fully understand, but I know I choose Scott over him. I just have to find some way to shake him. Maybe time. . .

Water begins to move me, shifting left and right. I gulp it in, trying to kick my way to the top.

“Glen! Breathe!”

Rapid thumps pound against my chest.

“Come on, Glen.”

Air forces its way into my lungs and upon it exiting so does water. I blink as I sit up, coughing.

“I didn’t say try to kill yourself. Just sit in the damn water.” Nathan whips his head back, shoving his wet hair from his face. We’re drenched.

“I knew what was going on; I just couldn’t do anything about it. My thoughts had my body locked up or something.”

“Don’t worry about it. Let’s get you back to Tracey’s house, Scott may be on to us since you almost died,” he blurts, throwing his hands up.

“No. First, tell me what you know about my father.” I grab his arm as he grabbed mine to help me up.

He kneels beside me. “Your father was a weak man, dying from a disease that attacked his heart; I believe it was Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. I don’t know the specs, but I know the witch that hexed him. He was young, in his early twenties when he came to her. He simply wanted to be healed; his request wasn’t at all bizarre in any way. But, dark magic isn’t made for simple requests. Had he went to someone of simplicity that cared about humankind, he would’ve been fine, but shit happens. Instead, the witch performed her magic, told him he would be Sephlem, because . . . well . . . it’s not a vampire or a werewolf and still better than humans, and it relieved his sickness. The cost was his firstborn; boy or girl. You were your father’s only child and the witch knew you were to mate with Scott. Being promised to her would give her a child whom she could raise that would become mixed with one claim by a Burdened Sephlem. As long as a mating works and is successful the follow up is, maybe, children. If the wrong witch gets her hands on a Burdened Sephlem baby, I’m quite sure there will be a bad ending.”

“How do you know all this?”

His smile is smug and remorseful. “I knew the witch who hexed him. It was a long time ago, and I didn’t figure it out until about two months ago. Figures, you should know why you were important, what your dad found out, and why he thought that death was better than killing you.”

“Scott told me that the man that would come after him was someone named Lunis.”

Nathan shrugs. “Maybe. But that’s old news.” He grabs my hand and pulls me to my feet. “Let’s go.”

“Why haven’t you brought Tracey here?”

“Aw. . . Tracey’s situation with Roehl and I are very different from yours. Bringing her here to find out what she already knows would be pointless.” He chuckles. “It’s not some magical pond, I just needed you to take some time and think, the pond was like a placebo.”

I shove him. “I should’ve known.”

“My heart doesn’t battle with her love for me. She knows she loves me; it just happens that Roehl is very strong and she partially loves him too. But Tracey knows it’s a mistake and I know she’ll want to stay with me.”

“You hope.”

He nods. Another look that fits perfectly on Nathan’s face is sadness.

Nathan and I settle back in his car and I take a deep breath. This helped. Nathan actually helped me. . .

“You feeling a little better?”

I smile. “Yes.”

“Let’s not give anything away, I still hate you.” He smirks and winks.

I offer a short nod. “Back at you.”

“Tell me something. How are you able to hold those secrets from Scott? And look into his head?”

The air from his vents is blowing on me, chilling me in my wet clothes. I close them, thinking if I want to tell Nathan my secret. “When Scott sleeps, it lets me in. And I can put up a blocking, deciding what parts of my mind I want open or closed. It’s very hard to do, but I learned that from Scott. Being born with the Sephlem gene isn’t helpful in any way. Probably because it’s not real.”

“Maybe. I want you to understand something about Scott.” I listen, anxious to hear something I don’t know. “It’s not Scott’s uncertainty or the fact that he can be unpredictable that makes Scott lose it. It’s his fear. . .”

“Of losing me,” I offer.

“Yes. And being the reason for losing you. But, things are changing, I think he’s gotten an understanding now.”

“Oh, you brought him to the pond too?”

Nathan laughs. “No, I didn’t need to bring him to a pond. All it took for Scott was for you to jump off a mountain.”

I gasp. This conversation, for me, is over. Bringing that up makes me realize how bad of an idea that might have been and I get uncomfortable.

Nathan drives into Tracey’s driveway and puts the car in park. “Don’t blame your dad or Scott or yourself. Shit happens and we can’t control it.”

I clutch the door handle in my hand. “Thanks, Nathan. Now get outta here, we smell like pond water and fish.” I look over my dampened clothes. “I seriously need a shower and you seriously need to clean out your car before you pick up Tracey.”

“Eh. . . I got it. By the way, congratulations. Make sure you come around by the time of your graduation, day after tomorrow. Scott wants to meet your parents. Rather, your mother.”

I shrug. “I don’t know, yet, if I’m ready to jump in. I still have a lot of thinking to do and a lot to consider. Though I appreciate you helping me clear things up, I still don’t know exactly what I want to do with it, and I’m not ready to see Scott because I know he’ll try to change my feelings. So, I think I just need a little time.”

He turns away from me, saying, “Cool.”

I leave Nathan and head back into Tracey’s house to think and shower.

Glen

There’s air. . . a smooth, clean breath of fresh air. I close my eyes and hug Scott tighter. His aroma fills my nose and I breathe in more of his oxygen than my lungs will allow.

“I just need to hear you say it,” Scott says, constricting me in his hug. “Even if you whisper it.”

“I love you.”

Our bodies are so close together we become one. I’ve missed Scott so much, I could’ve had him at any moment, I know. And I know the only thing keeping me from having him was me. But, having everything I want to reside in one person, and considering Scott had my best interest at heart was hard to believe. And I learned something, from Tracey and Nathan. Even when you doubt your love or his . . . you still love him and he still loves you. And we’re mated. There’s no way around that love. It takes time and it’s not easy, but it’s forever love.

“I know something else you’ve been waiting to hear, but you won’t admit,” I say as Scott opens the backseat door of Nathan’s car for me to climb in. Olar needs our help and I’m a part of the team now. Therefore, I’m joining him, Tracey, and Nathan on my first rescue mission. It’s exciting!

“What?” Scott scoots in beside me.

You’d honor me to be a part of your family, and spend the rest of my life with you, live for you, and stand by you as your mate.

A smile wider than Scott’s face has room for stretches his cheeks. Glen, if the world ended today, I’d die a happy man. You’re right. I have been waiting to hear you say that. But don’t do this for me. 

I’m not, Scott. I’m doing this because I want to. I want you. I need you. And I choose you. All of you, Scott Fallon, the Burdened Sephlem tainted by demons blood. I’m willing and ready to accept you and I’m sorry it took me so long. 

Scott digs beneath the collar of his shirt. Thank you, Glen. Thank you. He yanks a chain from his neck, and let’s fall from it a peculiar looking ring. Tiny, silver snowflakes make up the ring and a small diamond sits in the middle of each snowflake’s center. He takes my left hand and slides the ring on my ring finger.

It fits, I state, surprised at how easily the ring slid on and snugged itself against my skin.

Accepted by your mate is a feeling I can’t describe, it feels so amazing. Do you feel it?

I nod. . . Ecstasy.

Will you do me the honor and allow me to be made in you. It’s like me—

I know, I cut in. You’re asking me to marry you.

Only if you want to.

I chew on my bottom lip, taking time with my answer. With my heart I say, I will, and to you, I vow I’ll remain bound, confound, and devoted until death parts us. My words send Scott into a fit of passion. He draws me into a kiss that seals my promise and his. A solid beat thumps my heart before it burns like crazy. Another thump eases the burn, but this new beat feels weird. I think we’ve become sealed. 

Scott nods. I feel it too. We’re made. I couldn’t be happier. I couldn’t want anything more than this, than you. I love you, Glen Richards. And I can’t wait to experience my new and controlled life with you. 

Often, bad decisions can have a great outcome. And I have to admit, I don’t regret jumping off that mountain. It’s brought us to this moment of pure happiness, it’s brought me to see just how much I’m in love with Scott, and how I want him to be the person I spend the rest of my life with. It’s helped him realize that we will make it, we’ll survive, and his tortuous dreams can end. He can finally be happy too, and not tormented by his nightmares.

The car comes to a stop, but Scott won’t stop kissing me. And I don’t want him to. Finally, we’ve opened up for each other, we’re one in each other, and we truly love one another. It’s not forced or unwanted. We’re made in one another, for one another, by one another. Just Scott and me.

The End